Early this week, The Stranger received a fascinating press release from a group called People of God Uniting to See One of the Least Churched Regions in the Nation Transformed by the Power of God. The press release claimed that the "vision of three University of Washington students" had grown into a "revolutionary movement in a matter of weeks." As a consequence, the students are now planning a big rally-Shakina 2005-that will "change the face of the Puget Sound." What this growing organization of "churches, youth groups, schools, and individuals of all ages, from all denominations, and from various ethnicities" wants is nothing less than "the awesome power of God [to] fall on our region." "The vision of three young people," the press release concludes, "has turned into a movement with an estimated 5,000 people expected to attend the kickoff rally on May 20."

Anyone who comes from the South or any red state knows that this wet corner of America is poorly churched, and if People of God's rally is successful, if it can make God's power fall hard on Seattle, then crimes such as the miserable one that appears in this week's Police Beat (it occurred during church hours) will not trouble the future. An idle mind is the devil's workshop.

The Window/15th Ave NE/Sun May 8/1:33 pm: Officer Huber reports: "We were dispatched to the listed location for a report of a man looking into a window and masturbating. Upon arrival we located a possible suspect in the alley just to the east of the location. He appeared to match the clothing and physical description given by the witness to 911. His clothes were completely soaked by the rain and the top button of his pants was undone. He was detained while I spoke to the witnesses. Witness [one] stated that he initially saw the suspect hanging around the building approximately two hours prior to calling 911, when he left to go pick up his girlfriend [witness two] from work." (Working on a Sunday!) "The witness stated that when they returned he saw the suspect was still hanging around the area. The suspect was strange and seemed out of place. The witness and his girlfriend then went into their apartment.

"Approximately half an hour later the witnesses looked out of the north window of their apartment and saw the suspect was now inside the fenced area of the apartment building. The suspect was now looking inside a first-floor apartment window and using his right hand to prop himself up against the building while masturbating with his left hand. The entire time he stared into the window. Witness one called 911.

"I went to went to the window in question and saw that its blinds were raised and provided a full view inside of the apartment's bedroom. I was able to contact the resident and she stated she had been taking a nap in her bedroom during the time frame that the [nasty] incident occurred. The suspect was booked at KCJ for investigation of voyeurism." Everyone in this report is guilty: The witnesses, the voyeur, and the victim should all have been in church instead of presenting the devil with the opportunity to do his dirty work. Amen. ■