Life is not simple/University District/Tues Sept 28, 12:24 pm: Some days ago, a 46-year-old University District woman committed suicide by swallowing a bunch of pills. Her body was only discovered today, when a concerned citizen called 911 about the smell. The Seattle Fire Department arrived and forced the woman's door open; once inside, they found her lifeless form lying on the living room sofa, dressed up in "nice clothes" as if to look presentable for these final guests. Next to her well-dressed corpse, they found a note that said only, "Life is not simple." Of all the suicide notes Police Beat has read over the past year, this stands as the most poignant.

Preferred provider/First Hill/Tues Sept 28, 1:38 pm: Soon after a Bellingham woman was admitted into a Seattle hospital for long-term treatment, she was seduced by a certified nursing assistant. The affair lasted 12 days, concluding on Sept 2 when the certified assistant asked his patient to perform oral sex on him while the two sat in his car in front of the hospital. Appalled by the request, the patient jumped out of the car and ran into the hospital. She was weeping in the ladies bathroom when the nurse opened the door and tried to apologize. She demanded that he leave and never speak to her again. Twenty-six days later, the patient called the police to file an official report of their short affair, because she feared that her seducer would "take advantage of another patient." As there was no crime committed, except that of the heart, the only consolation the reporting officer could offer was a case number.

God doesn't let his children steal/Downtown/Tues Sept 28, 12:34 pm: A man with a ponytail entered the downtown Christian Science reading room and brought a purchase to the sales counter. But when the clerk informed the man of the charge, the customer said he had a weapon and pointed to his pocket. The customer asked for all of the money in the till but the clerk refused to turn it over, saying that "God doesn't let His children steal." Frustrated by this response, the suspect left the store without further incident.

I'll just have to rob a bank/West Seattle/Wed Sept 29, 2:47 pm: A man entered the Peace Lutheran Church on 39th Ave SW and asked the church secretary for money so he could buy a bus ticket. The man explained that he had a "criminal history," and that he had been convicted numerous times for armed robbery and other serious offenses. "It is time for me to leave the state," he said to her. "Please help me out." The secretary told the criminal that she had no money, at which point he became angry and said, "I'll just have to rob a bank or hurt somebody then." He then left the church in search of someone to hurt.

G-Money/Central District/Fri October 1, 10:57 am: Four people (a bald, white male, a black male in a leather jacket who goes by the name "G-Money," a black female with a short afro, and a white male wearing a black stocking cap topped by a "Russian" style hat) rolled up to an apartment building on E Cherry St. A woman who lives in the apartment building owed G-Money $10, and now it was time for the big payback. G-Money walked up to the apartment and pounded on the door. His debtor opened it just enough to see and speak to him, but G-Money forced the door wide open, entered the apartment, and pushed the woman onto a couch. "Where is my money, bitch?" he demanded, and just then spotted $10 on a coffee table. He grabbed the money and two packs of Top Ramen (which also happened to be on the coffee table), and returned to the car. Satisfied, the four drove off.

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