The Flight Attendant and His Lover/Downtown/Wed Oct 13/12:28 am: Tonight, two lovers broke up after four happy years together. Afterward, one lover, who works for Nintendo, sat on the couch while his partner, a flight attendant for American Airlines, was in the bedroom. Suddenly, the lover on the couch could bear it no more -- oh, how his heart hurt -- and began throwing his partner's clothes and property into the hallway. The flight attendant picked up his clothes and told his over-emotional partner that "We must handle this breakup in a civilized way." To which the couch-sitter replied, "I'm gonna take my $40,000 in equity by destroying this fucking place!" As the flight attendant believed his partner would follow through with this threat, he called the police. The couch-sitter told the cops he was only talking big and had no intention of destroying their once happy home.

The Bleeding Lover/First Hill/Fri Oct 15/12:28 pm: Tonight, a wounded lover recovering at Harborview Medical Center told this sad story to a cop: He got into a terrible argument with his girlfriend, and to express the depth of his misery and pain, cut his wrists. The wounded lover stated that he was not suicidal; it was just, you know, he was drinking, his heart was broken, and there happened to be a kitchen knife nearby.

The Grizzly Bear's Lover/Capitol Hill/Sun Oct 17/10:33 pm: Two lovers (a 28-year-old male and a 29-year-old female) were walking home from a party where the boyfriend's friends had said some mean things to his girlfriend. The girlfriend said to her lover, "Your friends are such a bunch of assholes and I'm not going out with them again." "Fine!" her lover responded. "If you are gonna be like that, let's end it now!" When they arrived at his place, she attacked him; kicking, punching, and scratching him until he bled. Witnesses to this awful fight called the police, who arrived after the girlfriend had fled the scene. When the cops asked the injured lover for the identity of his girlfriend, he said, "I'm not going to tell you where she lives. No matter how much I would love for you to go talk to her, I don't want her to go to jail. I'm just so mad that she scratched me. The marks are going to be there for a while. For the next few days I'm gonna look in the mirror and I'm going to think, 'fucking bitch!' I'm sorry, but that is exactly what I'm going to think. She can't attack a grizzly bear and expect him not to react!"

Lover's Heaven, Daughter's Hell/Central District/Sun Oct 17/10:44 pm: A 19-year-old Seattle Central Community College student who has been unhappy with her mother's recent second marriage, went nuts this weekend when she discovered that her mother was spending even more time with her new husband. This is how Officer M. Smithers described the daughter's preternatural rage: "She went into [her mother's] bedroom, pulled [her mother's] clothing out of the drawers, and began cutting up the clothing. She then went into the master bathroom and smashed almost every item laying around into the bathtub. This broke a fairly large hole in the tub's bottom. She then tore down the shower curtain [and] then went into the kitchen, gathered pots, pans, toaster, spices, and threw all these items onto the floor in [her mother's] bedroom. One pot had olive oil in it, and this soaked into the carpeting. Two of the spice containers broke open and spilled onto the carpet. She then went into the 2nd bathroom where [her sister] was, and began yelling at [her] while smashing plates into the tub in this bathroom." The mother of this devil-daughter was instructed to call 911 if her daughter went berserk again.

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