Cop Time/Ravenna/Thurs Nov 18/10:14 pm: Tonight, heavily armed members of the Seattle Police Department executed a search warrant on a home rented by Jesse James. Before entering the house, Officer Dornay pounded on the front door, yelling, "Seattle police with a search warrant! Open the door!" But no one answered. After what Sgt. Calder felt was a reasonable amount of time, he gave the order to "breach the door." Officer Dornay then busted in, and the team swarmed into the home like hornets. During entry, Officer Hairton observed someone throwing an object out of one of the bedrooms. This object, which was later recovered by Detective Gonzales, turned out to be 6.3 grams of rock cocaine. Detective Holmes found and arrested Jesse James, and recovered .5 ounces of rock cocaine from his bed. This incident was screened by Sgt. Calder and written up by Officer Manning, who identified the victim of James' crime as the "State of Washington."

The Stolen Heart Monitor/First Hill/Sat Nov 20/11:13 am: Late this morning, police were dispatched to Harborview Medical Clinic to investigate a report of a theft. Officer Patin contacted a medical technician who told him that a patient had somehow walked away from the hospital with a heart monitor attached to his chest. The technician said the monitor, which he described as a "Digital Telemetry Transmitter made by Spacelabs Corporation," is worth $1,000. Though the cops made a thorough check for a man walking around with a beeping heart monitor stuck to his body, they failed to locate him.

The Heaviness of Being a Cop/Downtown/ Thurs Dec 2/10:50 pm: The sheer weight of 23 Snohomish County Robocops in a Community Transit Bus on their way to a WTO riot caused the bus' back wheels to break through the asphalt on the top level of a parking lot. Amazingly, no damage was caused to the cars beneath the bus' protruding and spinning wheels.

Our Man in South Africa/Downtown/Fri Dec 3/10:00 am: When a highly influential South African delegate for the WTO conference reached into his bag for his camera (which was crammed with excellent photos of our city), he found it missing. Someone had stolen it! But who? He reported the theft to a police officer on duty at the Washington Convention Center, stressing the value of the camera (U.S.$583). But all the cop could do was offer a case number (99-505529). When the delegate returned to South Africa, this case number was the only proof he had of his brief visit to the Emerald City.

The Special Agents/Downtown/Fri Dec 3/10:35 am: Today, Officer Hope and Officer Quinonez responded to a request for a patrol car by Detective O' Donnell and FBI Special Agent Albedyll. When they arrived on Sixth and Dearborn, they found the detective and the special agent standing with a strange woman wearing a cheap blond wig. Detective O'Donnell told Officer Quinonez that the woman was under arrest for jaywalking across Sixth Ave, which was a blatant violation of SMC 11.40.240 (whatever that means). Detective O'Donnell further explained that although he presented her with his identification, she refused to reveal her identity. She then began "verbally identifying herself" with obviously fictitious female names like "Sue Mee" and "Carrie Mee," and said that she jaywalked because she did not acknowledge Seattle laws. He asked her for her real name again, and she gave him more fake names like "Harriet Tubman." Officer Hope had the honor of handcuffing this disagreeable woman, and both cops transported her to the West Precinct for processing. When they threw her into a "holding cell," she yelled through the iron bars: "The world is watching you! We're watching you!"

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