Downtown/Mon Feb 22/2:53 pm Officer Jeremy Pinkerton reports: "I was working uniformed foot patrol with my partner, [Officer] Chase. At approximately 1453 hours, I was approached by a victim on the corner of Third Avenue and Pike Street. He stated he had been robbed a few minutes prior [near University Street and Second Avenue]. He stated he was sitting down on the east side of Second Avenue when two males approached him and asked for a lighter. But before he could answer, one of the men came in close to him and told him to act naturally and give him his iPhone. When he declined, the suspect flipped up his hood and told him he had a gun, pulled out a black and silver semiautomatic handgun and pointed it at his head. He gave the suspect his iPhone, fearing he would be shot. After suspect had his phone, he punched the victim in his chest and shoulder a few times. He then headbutted him twice while yelling, 'Fifty cal! Fifty cal!' and then ran southbound on Second Avenue."

Police later captured the suspect in the bus tunnel beneath Benaroya Hall, the officer reports. He was down in the tunnel drinking 1800 Tequila with two of his friends—who were also arrested (one for a completely different charge). As for the crime, it's nothing short of stunning that a thug, even a very drunk thug, would have the audacity to pull out a gun in the middle of the day and in the middle of one of the busiest and most policed streets in the city. What was he really thinking? What world does he live in? It must certainly be a fantastic place—A Thug in Wonderland.

Fremont/Sun Feb 21/1:15 am Officer Jonathan Musseau reports: "I was dispatched to an assault at the bar 9 Million in Unmarked Bills. Victim was so intoxicated that she could not tell me what her name was, she could not hold herself in an upright seated position, and she did not know where she was. Several witnesses were contacted and provided a written statement. One witness appeared to have the best recollection of the incident. She said that she saw the suspect attempting to make out with victim, and the victim appeared to be nearly passed out, unable to hold her head upright. Additionally, the suspect had pulled victim's shirt down and appeared to be licking and or sucking victim's nipples. Witness said that several of suspect's friends were watching and taking photographs with their cell phones of the incident."

To make matters worse, the footage of the sexual assault is already circulating on the web, already being e-mailed, linked, and downloaded. To make matters even worse than that, the footage will be on the web until the end of human civilization. The speed by which an ephemeral incident becomes an eternal one is a matter of seconds with a smartphone.