The Missing Sandwich/Greenwood/Tues March 14/5:20 pm: Today, an employee of Subway Sandwiches on Greenwood Ave called the police to report that a strange man was threatening him. This is the strange man's story: He says that he and his girlfriend had walked into the restaurant -- which is endorsed by Tae-Bo master Billy Blanks -- the day before and ordered two sandwiches. But, it turned out, the man's girl didn't get her sandwich. Today he returned to get the missing sandwich. An employee who was working the day before, when the strange man allegedly came in with his girlfriend, claimed to police that she recalled the man coming in alone, without said girlfriend, and ordering only one sandwich. But seeing that this is the age of high-tech surveillance, an employee named Smith recommended that they take a look at videotapes to see if the strange man had, indeed, come in with a girlfriend. At this suggestion, the man became angry, called Smith a "bitch," and stormed out of the Subway. The suspect was described as having a huge Afro.

Guerrilla Growers/SeaTac International Airport/Sun March 26/11:30 am: Late this morning, two Portland residents (a woman who is an art director and a man who is a student at Western Oregon University) disembarked from an airplane at the airport. When they arrived at customs, a keen drug dog named Joe went crazy and started barking and growling at them. A subsequent search of their belongings produced 29.77 grams of hash oil. The substance was field tested by Special Agent Baek, and the results were positive! Other diligent agents recovered six pipes and several packages of rolling papers from the couple's luggage. Seattle Police Detective Yulfo, who is assigned to the Drug Enforcement Agency's airport task force, took control of the illegal substance -- which was in an eyedropper bottle marked "Guerrilla Growers" -- and placed it into evidence. Both suspects stated that they were aware of the bottle and its contents. Both suspects were transported to the South Precinct for more interviews. Both suspects had just returned from a two-week vacation in the Netherlands.

Mexican Fingers/West Seattle/Fri March 31/11:15 pm: During the last hour of the day, an intoxicated West Seattle woman reported to Officer Wind that "Mexicans stuck their fingers inside her." The Mexicans, she said, then threw her into the bushes and raped her. Though Officer Wind could find no debris on the woman to suggest that she'd been thrown into the bushes -- and the woman couldn't locate the exact spot where the Mexicans raped her -- he offered to take her to Harborview Medical Center for an examination and treatment. The West Seattle woman declined this offer and said she wanted a ride to her mother's house instead. Officer Wind reluctantly drove her to her mother's house, and when they arrived, the mother refused to let her drunk daughter in, explaining that she routinely calls the police so she can get rides home. "She does it all the time," her mother said, "[and] she can't come in until she is sober!" The mother then shut the door and turned off the lights. Her drunk daughter was then transported to HMC's sobering center, where she was very uncooperative with the nursing and security staff.

Afro vs. Afro/Central District/Sat April 1/10:43 pm: A black male sporting a large Afro walked up to the Afro Mini Store on 19th Ave, and hurled a large rock through its front door window. He then fired off a few mean words and fled eastbound through the backyard of a nearby apartment building (the enlarged shadow of his Afro glided along the wall of the apartment building as he passed by). During an area check, Officer Price located an individual with a huge Afro and questioned him. The store manager was then brought to the scene to take a look at the suspect -- he identified him as the one who'd broken the window. Though the report estimates property damage to be $150, it does not explain why a man with an Afro threw a rock at a store named Afro.