Your Toe, My Boat/West Seattle/Friday June 23/9:45 pm: Officer Jenkins reports: "I arrived and contacted victim who stated the following: She was doing some landscaping work with the permission of the landlord in front of the suspect's apartment. The suspect came outside and they got into an argument. The argument escalated and the suspect dropped a rowboat on her foot. She showed me the toe on her foot that was injured and I could see that the nail was gone and it was bleeding. She declined medical treatment. I asked her what she wanted me to do. She said that she did not want the suspect arrested but did want me to talk to him and ask him to leave her alone." The rowboat in this report appears from nowhere and falls on her toe. Was the suspect carrying the rowboat when he walked out of his apartment? Or was it parked somewhere nearby and he picked it up and dropped it on her toe? And exactly how does someone drop a whole rowboat on one toe? Wouldn't something of that size injure a whole leg? A whole body? And wouldn't the suspect have to be the Incredible Hulk to be able to lift and drop a rowboat as if it were a mere toy?

Your Neck, My Spit/Downtown/Friday June 23/10:34 pm: Officer Fox reports: "Victim [male, black, 53] said that the suspect [female, white, 21] picked an item up off the ground, chewed up the material, and spit it at him. The chewed material landed on the back of his neck." And what exactly was this material that the suspect chewed cow- or horse-like? Was it natural or organic? How much chewing did she do before spitting the material at his neck? Without these answers, what is the use of this report? It means nothing.

Your Braids, My Vengeance/Central District/Saturday June 24/1:18: Officer Misiorek reports: "While working as patrol unit 3C79, I responded to 20th Avenue and East Madison Street to assist Detective Cobane, who had located a man down in front of Chocolate City. Victim was on the ground unconscious, immediately in front of the lounge. He was bleeding from the mouth. It appeared that suspect(s) cut a portion of the victim's braids off after he lost consciousness. Victim regained consciousness, refused to cooperate, and left the scene before the ambulance arrived." What we need to know, and what Officer Misiorek failed to report, is how were the braids cut? With a knife? Scissors? And was it done as some kind of ritual? Meaning, to cut his hair, his beautiful braids, is to cut into the mythic meat of his power. To not know these answers is to be in the dark; to know them is to be in the light.

Your Finger, My Mouth/Queen Anne/Monday June 26/12:44 pm: Officer Roberts reports: "She hired the suspect to paint the interior of her house. Soon after beginning work, in April, the suspect began acting strangely. On several occasions he hugged and kissed her and behaved as if the two were involved in an intimate relationship. Last week she cut her finger, and he grabbed her hand and licked her wound and placed her finger in his mouth.... Victim told suspect that their relationship is strictly a working relationship and nothing more. She [fired the painter] and now he is harassing her. She wants to obtain a protection order to keep him away from her property [and her finger]."