Central District/Mon June 7/6:49 pm: Officer Jonathan Chin reports: "On the listed date and time, I was working routine patrol with my partner Officer House. We were dispatched to S Jackson St to contact a victim regarding a strong-arm robbery that occurred the day before (6-6-10). The victim stated the following: At approximately 1830 hrs, he and his roommate walked to the bus stop at 23 Av S/S Jackson St. The bus stop was the northbound stop in front of the Starbucks on 23 Av S. They were there to catch the #48, which was supposed to arrive at 6:27 p.m.

"While they were at the bus stop, they were approached by two males (identified as Suspect 1 and Suspect 2). Suspect 1 was a black male, late teens to early 20s, approximately 6', 140–150 #s, with 'cone-shaped' hair pulled back into a style similar to a ponytail."

Let's stop the report here for a moment and reread the description of Suspect 1—as you can see, it's very funny. But, as it turns out, not as funny as the description of Suspect 2:

"Suspect 2 was a white male, same age, same height, approximately 170 #s, same hairstyle."

Now that deserves a laugh from the deepest part of the gut. The laughter, however, has a small price:

"The suspects demanded whatever the victim had in his pockets and both physically postured him and got very close and used their bodies to intimidate. Feeling threatened, victim gave the suspects $20. At one point, he stated the suspects threatened to physically assault him, saying that they beat people up for money. The suspects then walked away."

The poor victim paid $20 for our little moment of laughter.

West Seattle/Tues June 8/3:45 am: Officer Drew Fowler reports: "I arrived on the scene and spoke with the complainant/victim who said she was getting ready to go to work when she noticed there was a broken window on the back of her house at 0345 hours. Victim suggested she had heard some glass break at about 0325 hours, but it did not alarm her. The broken glass was a small pane of a larger window closest to the rear door. It appeared the burglar was attempting to gain access using the rear door by reaching through the broken window to unlock the door. The burglar had cut him- or herself very badly on the glass while attempting to reach the door, it was, however, too far to reach. Blood was inside the house on the wall where the burglar had reached, as well as down the deck from the rear door and up the sidewalk. I looked on the window for any usable fingerprints, but none existed. I also tried to follow the blood trail as far as I could, but it became impossible. I did an area check looking for any suspects profusely bleeding from the arm. None were located."

Sometimes our laughter ("the burglar cut him- or herself very badly on the glass") is mixed with a little pity ("[I looked] for any suspects profusely bleeding"). recommended