The Sirens of Elliott Bay/Elliott Bay/Tues Oct 17/4:05 pm: Today, ROs (Reporting Officers) were dispatched to the Seattle Aquarium to check on a report that a white male was in Elliott Bay. Upon arrival, the ROs found this report was true: A white male was shoulder-deep in the waters of Elliott Bay. Officer Sackman made several attempts to talk him out of the water, but the man refused, and swam under the dock. The frustrated ROs called the Coast Guard, whose eager boat appeared approximately 10 minutes later. The Coast Guard pulled the man out of the water and brought him to dry land, where the ROs handcuffed him. As they transported the man to Fire Station #5, he confessed that "female voices" told him to "go for a swim." That is why he jumped into the bay--he couldn't resist their enchanting call.

High Noon/Downtown/Mon Oct 30/12:15 pm: A construction worker on the 1400 block of Terry Ave was standing in the middle of the road, shoveling dirt, when he saw a Ford Taurus coming up the street. The construction worker put up his hand to stop the vehicle from proceeding. The Taurus stopped a few feet in front of him, its engine revving impatiently. It then accelerated in his direction. The construction worker tried to jump out of the charging Taurus' way, but he was hit and thrown into the air. When the construction worker came down to earth, he hit the top of the Taurus and then the hard road. The Taurus stopped, backed up, turned, and drove away. Though not injured, the construction worker was "[all] shook up."

A Prelude to a Report/ Downtown/Mon Oct 30/ 3:04 pm: This introduction to a report that involved "some people shooting up heroin under the awning of the Paramount Theatre" was written by Officer Christopher G. Hall. The reason it's in Police Beat is that I want you to marvel at the confidence of a police officer. Indeed, no other profession in the world can build such confidence in a human being! "I have been a police officer for eight years. In that time, I have been involved in approximately two hundred and thirty (230) narcotics arrests. I have also received training in drug recognition and the methods in which narcotics are used and packaged, as well as recognition of paraphernalia associated with illegal narcotics. [So the report I'm about to write comes from a man who knows what he is talking about.]" Wow! The drug world can only tremble in the face of such confidence.

"Shut Up, Dude"/ Downtown/Wed Nov 1/ 4:37 pm: A Seattle man returned home from California, where he was a witness in a murder trial, and found on his answering machine "two suspicious calls." The first involved a mysterious caller in a "bar-like atmosphere" hanging up without saying anything. The second featured a man saying, "Hello," and after a long pause filled in with "the same bar-type noise," adding, "shut up, dude." The victim was certain that the calls had something to do with the murder trial in California. Understanding the danger the Seattleite was in, the RO promised that he would ask other officers to patrol the area around his home, and to report any suspicious activity.

His Bare Hands/Pioneer Square/Wed Nov 1/ 5 pm: A man approached officers on Fourth and Jackson Street and stated he wanted to turn himself in. He then explained that he was hanging out in an alley in Pioneer Square when a black male wearing dark clothing attempted to rob him. He said he broke the black man's neck with his bare hands, made sure he was dead, and left the scene. He then asked to sit in the police car ("where it was warm") while they looked for the body. The report does not say if the cops let him sit in their warm squad car, but they did perform "an exhaustive search" for the invisible black man.