Strong Convictions, False Reporting

Capitol Hill
Thurs April 1, 2:30 pm:
A young man had been sitting on the stoop of a vacant shop for a good 20 minutes when an officer approached to inform him of the city's "Sit and Lie Ordinance," which forbids such behavior. The cop asked for identification, but the young man claimed he didn't have any. He then proceeded to lie about his name and birthdate, fearing the officer would check his records and find that he had a warrant out for his arrest. When the false name didn't turn up any record at all, the cop searched the young man's belongings and found an Oregon ID card. A check found no warrant. The man had a clean record--at least he did until he was hauled over to the East Precinct and charged with false reporting.

Like the Fiery Monks

Fri April 2, 10:30 pm:
After a hard day of crime-fighting, an off-duty cop waited for a bus on the corner of Fourth Ave S and S Massachusetts St. There he watched a man carry a large plastic sack into the middle of the street and light it with a Zippo. A plume of dense gray-black smoke rose from the burning sack--traffic actually slowed and stopped due to restricted visibility. The officer walked over to where the man was standing and asked him what he thought he was doing. The man explained that it was okay to light the sack on fire because "it is in honor of the monks who light themselves on fire when protesting something important." The man was taken to the West Precinct, where he was interviewed and released.

Officer Song and the Wheelchair

First Hill
Tues April 6, 3:11 pm:
A disabled woman left Harborview Hospital in her motorized wheelchair and attempted to merge into northbound traffic on I-5. A concerned motorist surmised that she was trying to kill herself by steering into the path of a speeding car, and used his own automobile to block her from the oncoming oblivion she so desired. When police finally showed up, the woman was taken back to the hospital by ambulance. Officer Song waited with the wheelchair until it too was picked up and delivered to the hospital.

Just Like an Englishman

West Seattle
Wed April 7, 3 am:
Officer Griffin was dispatched to 31st Ave So. (98108) to investigate a "suspicious circumstance," which turned out to be a woman worried that her dinner companion (Vincent, who didn't show up) had met with danger. She was especially anxious because he hadn't called to explain his absence. Also, he was not from Seattle, and was to have flown back to his native England the next day. The woman explained that she had known Vincent for eight months and that he had asked her to move to England with him.

Christian Camera Used in Drug House

North Queen Anne
Wed April 7, 12 noon:
A man drove into a parking garage at Seattle Pacific University (affiliated with the Methodist church) in a dark-colored SUV and stole a mounted security camera. The electronic eye of another nearby camera caught the whole thing, but not in enough detail to make out the suspect. There is a lead, however. An informant advised police that the camera has been installed at a drug house (apparently the resident dealer felt the need to monitor his clientele--not the sort to be trusted). SPU security is trying to track down the serial number for the camera, and will call police when it is found.

'You are really getting to be an asshole!'

Near Seattle Center
Sun April 11, 8:10 am:
A worker at the Hostess Cake factory on Aurora Ave N complained to his supervisor that a co-worker was putting too much dough mix into the cake formula, making it difficult to run the mixing machine. Later that day, the over-doughing co-worker confronted his accuser in the company locker room and said: "You are really getting to be an asshole!" The co-worker then pushed the man into the lockers and kneed him in the groin. The man reminded the co-worker that they had to work together, and that if he continued the assault, he would risk losing his job. The co-worker then stormed out of the locker room. No charges were filed.

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