The Old and the Furious/West Seattle/Sat July 21/5:50 pm: This afternoon, an elderly woman walked into a dog grooming store with her beloved dog. A young groomer (a woman in her 20s) took the dog and began grooming it, while the older woman waited in the lobby. After sitting and doing absolutely nothing for a considerable length of time, the old woman became irritated and asked the young woman to hurry up. The young woman told the impatient elder to wait a few more minutes--not inside, but outside on the bench in front of the business. Apparently the young woman didn't want any more interruptions. The old woman stepped outside and sat on the bench.
When the dog's grooming was finally done, the young woman let the dog outside without calling the old woman back into the store. The old woman took offense to this and called the young woman a "fucking bitch." The young woman shut the door, but the humiliated old woman barged on in. Once inside, the threatened young woman grabbed a mop and prepared to defend herself. The aggressive old woman got ahold of a broom, and threw it at the young woman. The young woman responded by hitting the old woman on the back of the head with the mop. At some frantic point, tools were dispensed with, and the fight degenerated to the raw truth of their hands. They grabbed and pulled each other's hair, and formed a veritable tornado of pain and rage.
When Officers Agate and Branham arrived to classify and document the incident, witnesses explained that at first the old woman was the aggressor, but toward the end of the fight, "it was a mutual combat."
The Temple of the Wise/Central District/Sun July 22/8:49 am: This morning, a young man drove to a temple to get advice about life from an elder. But when he arrived at the temple, no one was there. The young man returned to his car, and began waiting for the elder to arrive at the temple. Suddenly, two men in ski masks jumped into his car, took command of it, and hit him on the head with the unforgiving butt of a gun. The young man passed out and regained consciousness in the woods of a city park. The negatives were piling up on the young man: He had no car, no wallet, and no advice from the wise elder of the temple.
Why Should Not Old Men Be Mad?/West Seattle/Sun July 22/11 am: Upon arrival, the officers located the septuagenarian who had exposed himself to the young and the living. By this time, the man had his long pants on. When asked whether or not he had exposed his ancient penis, the old man appeared confused and distant. The officers left the old man's creaking porch and interviewed his neighbors, who explained that the old man not only exposed himself, but also masturbated while standing on his porch. The officers transported the old man to the hospital for closer observation.