Thrown Into the World of Crime/First Hill/Sunday Dec 2/7:55 pm: Shortly after a woman gave birth to a healthy baby, the stocky gangster father of the newborn came into the room and gave it a proud kiss on the mouth. The mother told the gangster not to kiss the baby on the mouth. The gangster, who had the names of his two other kids tattooed on his arm, purposely kissed the baby hard on the mouth and handed it back to the mother. The gangster's romance with the mother (an on-and-off affair) was currently on the rocks. He asked her when she would be discharged so they could start thinking about the future. "I don't know," she said sharply. The gangster sensed in her answer a dead end to any future that involved him. "If anything comes between me and this baby," the gangster said with all the menace he could muster, "I will put you and your family in jeopardy." Having locked the baby's first day of existence into his world of crime, the gangster then left the maternity ward.

The Elemental Criminal/Central District/Wed Dec 5/ 12:37 pm: The school counselor for a Central District elementary school conveyed this disturbing story to Officer C. Agagte: For some time, one student (a 10-year-old boy) had been in the habit of touching another student's (an eight-year-old girl) buttocks during recess. Today, the girl informed the counselor about these incidents, and the counselor decided to confront the boy directly. The counselor (who was followed by the girl) approached the boy (who was acting as a school crossing guard) and questioned him about his recess crimes. Automatically, the boy "got extremely angry," threw the "flag and helmet he was using as a crossing guard onto the street, ran past the counselor, and pushed the girl against a tree." He then punched the girl in the head and neck. The counselor attempted to pull the boy off the girl, but before she subdued him he managed to deliver a kick into the fallen girl's belly. This incident occurred just as school was getting out, so over 100 students witnessed the crime. Though the boy was expelled, the girl plans to transfer to a new school because everyone saw her moment of humiliation at the hands of a future member of the U.S. penitentiary system.

Step-granddaughter Crime/Silverdale/Wed Dec 5/ 5 pm: A grandfather who recently moved to Silverdale, WA to retire called the police and told them that while unpacking his things, he realized that 30 of his neckties were missing. He suspects that his step-granddaughter is at the bottom of the crime. She lived with him in Seattle from 1998 until 2001, and had a key to his house. He thinks she stole the neckties while he was moving his property to his new home. The man also reported that his heat gun was missing.

Where ALL the Cheap Smack Is/Downtown/Fri Dec 7/3:22 pm: After getting into a meaningless street altercation that necessitated police intervention and resolve, a pale, thin 25-year-old junkie said to Officer G Abed, "I'm on my way to Portland because I hear you can get dope real cheap down there." She was then escorted to the train station, where she eagerly boarded a train heading down to Smackland.

Criminal Newspaper/West Seattle/Tues Dec 11/12 noon: A woman who was cleaning the condiment kiosk at a West Seattle convenience store noticed, near the cooler, something wrapped in "The Stranger newspaper." She opened The Stranger (which was dated Nov 8, 2001) and found a .45 semiautomatic handgun. She called the police. Reporting officer Matsumoto arrived a few moments later, and placed the gun and the newspaper into evidence.

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