It's December already. Soon enough you'll be invited to at least one of those gift-exchange-white-elephant-secret-Santa-type parties at work, school, or church. But aren't you sick of being the person who brings the bowling ball, kitchen witch, or homemade granola? Nobody wants that shit—not even as a joke. Try bringing the gift that keeps on giving, the one gift at the party old childhood friends will actually FIGHT each other for. For one crisp Andrew Jackson, you can buy a used or pre-2006 porn DVD—and not just any title, but a heart-warming holiday flick. There's Jingle Balls (Vivid, 2004), The Tits That Saved XXX-mas (Big Top Video, 2003), Seymore Butts' A Christmas Orgy (Golden Goose, 1998), I Saw Mommy Eating Santa Claus (Heatwave, 2005), Here Cumz Santa (Vertigo, 2005), Santa's Helpers: Itty Bitty Titties (FilmCo, 2005), and even the I'm-Jewish-but-dressed-as-fat-ol'-Saint-Nick-anyway Ron Jeremy in 2004's Very Very Bad Santa (Loaded Digital). But wait, the gift exchange is gay, gay, GAY? Never fear, Jeff Stryker is here! Larger-than-life Stryker starred in and directed Santa's Cummin'! (TLA, 1996) for all those kids going homo for the holidays.