Excellent

LITTLE ORPHAN ANI

TYLENOL TALENT

STUPID BLOODY STUPID!

Interview

All the News That Didn't Fit

On the Record

The Olympia Connection, Or Lack Thereof

Excellent

The Numbness Is Just a Bonus

Hiphop City

WEEN ARE THE WORLD

Soul by the Pound

EXCELLENT REAL ROCK QUOTES

Incest is Best

The Rise and Fall of the N-Word

DEXYS MIDNIGHT RUNNERS

If You Don't Have Anything Nice to Say, Tell the Truth Anyway

You Don't Own Me

Summer Lovin'

Stagger Lee

Music to Lose Your Job By

Boy, You Sure Can Take the Fun Out of Music

CINEMATIC CLICHE

Stuart Braithwaite From Mogwai

Going to New York City?

THE CHURCH OF COLTRANE

A Whole N'other Level

Who Says Morrissey Fans Don't Get Laid?

ISSA ROCKA ROLL

Not Modest Enough


PREDICTIONS

· Next month there will be no mention of Nine Inch Nails in Fits & Bursts.

· Next month there will be no mention of Nine Inch Nails on the Billboard Charts. Trent sinks like a stone.

· The Breakroom will get a decent ventilation system, donated by Trent Reznor.

· Everyone will discover Gordon Biersch as a venue. Despite its marginal status as an upscale Olive Garden and its odd Pacific Place location, they've been booking local treasures like Pete Krebs, Marc Olsen, and Ken Stringfellow to play for nearly three hours at a time. Stringfellow even mingles with the crowd during his breaks. The yuppie crowd shows its thanks by requesting Lenny Kravitz, but as the true music fans of this city begin to infiltrate the mall, we can expect Lenny Kravitz fans to turn tail faster than, well, Lenny Kravitz himself did. All this for a zero dollar cover. It's better than Nine Inch Nails!


REVISIONS

· When the first Beck song, "Loser," came out, I was sure he'd be a one-hit wonder. I remember watching Thurston Moore interview Beck on 120 Minutes, looking like big Thurston and little Thurston, and thinking, "This guy is going nowhere." Maybe I was wrong? Nowadays Beck could crush Thurston and Trent Reznor with his pinkie.

· Cleopatra Records must be stopped. The tribute albums were funny at first, but they all suck. Not only are they planning a Nirvana tribute album, but they're threatening a rap version of "Smells Like Teen Spirit." What's next, a world music tribute to The Fragile?

· Death Cab for Cutie are evil. How dare they place a moratorium on shows until 2000? What are we supposed to do until then, stay home and cry along with Nine Inch Nails? After getting us all excited by playing several new songs at their North by Northwest show in Portland, they pull a 10-second tiger and leave us begging for satisfaction for three months! What a tease.