You guys have such a treat heading your way. I've been working my tuchus off down here at Second and Pike, getting the new City Target all shipshape for our grand opening on Sunday, July 29. I thought it would be weird, reentering the workforce after so many years as a housewife, but, well, Chris didn't leave me much of a choice when he ran off with what's-her-face, did he?

Anyhoo, it's only been a couple weeks, but Target is great. They pay a little more than minimum wage. And! I get a 10 percent discount on non-grocery and non-sale items. And if I ever become a manager or work more than 20 hours a week, I'll get health insurance! Target employees are the envy of other store employees. And it's so pretty in here! With all the shiny items made of affordable plastic lined up on the shelves, it looks like a carnival midway. (Psst, caffeine junkies: We've got a Starbucks, too!)

I'm supposed to talk about this week's Stranger for some reason—our communication director calls it "branding synergy." I know The Stranger probably hates Target because we put donations toward a politician who opposed gay marriage a couple years ago, but there are more issues than just gay marriage. Target is a business, and they need to make sure they can stay in business. Lots of people—including me, now!—depend on them. Besides, we sell a line of shirts that benefits a pro-gay-marriage group now, and I know my coworker Tommy certainly doesn't feel discriminated against because he has a boyfriend—he gets the most positive comment cards out of everyone!

Anyway, The Stranger: A lot of this stuff just isn't really my speed. There's a story about the arena. I look at The Stranger sometimes on the bus, and I don't mean to be rude, but don't they go over this arena thing a whole lot?

And then PAUL CONSTANT has a really biased article about Mitt Romney. I don't know, Mitt seems like a really nice guy to me. He loves his wife, which is more than I can say for some men. This whole article seemed kind of prejudiced. I looked long and hard for a job and got rejected from a lot of places before Target took a chance on me, but one of my goals is to be wealthy one day, and Mitt could be a good leader that way, because look at how wealthy he is! Is wealth bad now? Maybe that means Paul thinks I'm stupid, but I don't care—that's just the way I feel.

Then there are a lot of short pieces about plays and books and art exhibits I know I'm not going to feel like checking out after a long day on my feet stocking shelves. And between the reviews of bars I'm probably too uncool to get into and DAVE HERNANDEZ's music story that drops a bunch of names I don't even know, I just feel like this isn't for me, you know? recommended