1. This week's Stranger was published over the course of a long Memorial Day weekend. Many Stranger staffers took a vacation on Monday, the day in which much of the paper is traditionally written and edited. Would you say that the resulting shoddy, quickly written newspaper is

(a) noticeably worse than most issues of The Stranger?

(b) barely worse than most issues of The Stranger?

or

(c) almost imperceptibly worse than most issues of The Stranger?

Remember to support your claim with textual evidence!

2. GOLDY has authored an impassioned 500-word piece about Sea-Tac Airport workers who are fighting unfair labor conditions. The Stranger is a nonunion newspaper. If scientists somehow managed to identify a standard unit of measurement for hypocrisy, where on the hypocrisy scale would they place Goldy?

3a. In the feature, REBECCA BROWN reflects on the beauty of monsters. One of the last features Rebecca Brown wrote for The Stranger was a hopeful statement of support for Pope Francis. Do you think Ms. Brown recognizes the thematic similarities between these pieces?

3b. Why do you believe Ms. Brown feels obligated to identify and publicly praise the humanity in inhuman, immoral monsters like the Mummy and Pope Francis?

4. EMILY NOKES interviews the Trashies. Isn't that joke kind of played out? Why or why not?

5. In much better news, DAVID SCHMADER interviews Kyle MacLachlan. Suppose you were playing a game of fuck-marry-kill with your best girlfriends and your choices were Kyle MacLachlan in Twin Peaks, Kyle MacLachlan in Showgirls, and Kyle MacLachlan in Portlandia. Who would you fuck? Who would you marry? Who would you kill? Why?

6a. ANNA MINARD claims to have "never heard of" Sonny and Linda Sharrock. Has Anna Minard ever heard of anything? Do you also picture Ms. Minard as a semi-retarded Helen Keller type trapped in a dank dungeon in The Stranger's offices? Because I do.

6b. And here's a follow-up: When the editors throw a Discman with the week's musical selection into her dungeon, do you believe that Ms. Minard

(a) shields her eyes from the light and wails?

(b) begs for the sweet release of death?

or

(c) wordlessly bellows her thanks to what she imagines to be a gracious, giving God for delivering her another gift of music?

7. In his sex-advice column, DAN SAVAGE promotes his new book, American Savage, which is available in bookstores now. How many times do you believe Savage will mention American Savage in his column over the next two years? (Use logarithms if necessary.) How many of those instances will actually be relevant to the conversation?