One wonders what goes into Stranger editorial meetings, considering what comes out of them. This newspaper's news section has yet to publish a single word about the industry-reordering (and jobs-destroying) implosion of Washington Mutual, the former chief executive of which is being sued by the FDIC, as was announced in real newspapers weeks ago. This is a newspaper that will only acknowledge the brave contributions to American security provided by the military—there are 32,398 active-duty service members at bases in this state alone—if the service member in question is a hero of the liberal cause, as was Pat Tillman, depicted on the cover of The Stranger last week in a vaguely feminine portrait painted by a homosexual Italian. To say nothing of the news surrounding Donald Trump. Or Syria. Or Guantánamo Bay.
The news section this week instead painstakingly details a meeting. Within The Stranger's office walls. Between the staff and a visitor whose views happen not to square with The Stranger's. Fascinating! More details, please! Pulitzers all around!
Meanwhile, a new album by a local band is deemed so deserving of attention that it occupies a full page followed by two half pages. Of discerning critical insight? Of scintillating historical context? Of course not. Instead, the new hack in charge of the music section, GRANT BRISSEY, takes the album to the zoo with a portable audio device and plays it for an arctic fox, a wolf, a penguin, two giraffes, two elk, a tiger, and a mountain goat, and then records their responses. Is this intended to be funny? Is there any sort of motivation behind this article other than sniggering at the inanity of the article's own concept? And do the plentiful photographs by KELLY O indicate that Mr. Brissey could barely be bothered to write the little that he did?
Speaking of drinkers, this issue marks the return of CHRISTOPHER FRIZZELLE's books column, Nightstand, which used to run weekly in The Stranger, while rarely touching on new books. (Why practice journalism when no one else in the building is?) I was hoping that Mr. Frizzelle's demotion to the least read section of The Stranger signaled the long-awaited firing of PAUL CONSTANT, but that sadly is not the case. Instead, Mr. Constant and art critic JEN GRAVES have contributed some sort of a written discussion about the silly virtues and even sillier downsides of an internet concern. The result is nothing more than an e-mail exchange committed to paper, though it does pull off the feat of condensing Mr. Constant's hysteria and Miss Graves's ability to obfuscate any issue past the point of irrelevancy onto a single page.
As for the rest? THEATER: Didn't read... CHOW: Didn't read... FILM: Avoid at all costs... SPORTS BLOTTER: That sounds like a very nice sink... SAVAGE LOVE: I stopped reading at "heteroflexible." 
