* JONATHAN AMES
See review, page 22. He's joined at the Elliott Bay event by the musicians One Ring Zero, who've just put out an album of songs with lyrics written by authors like Margaret Atwood, Dave Eggers, Jonathan Lethem, and Ames himself. Elliott Bay Book Company, 101 S Main St, 624-6600, 7:30 pm, free. (Ames is also reading from his new novel Wake Up, Sir! on Fri July 23 at University Book Store, 4326 University Way NE, 634-3400, 7 pm, free; and Sat Jul 24 at Third Place Books, 17171 Bothell Way NE, 366-3333, 6 pm, free.)
* PATRICK THIESSEN, KARY WAYSON, COLLEEN McELROY, LINDEN ONTJES, AND OTHERS
Contributors to the most recent issue of Cranky, the local literary journal, read their work. Wayson is one of the better poets in this journal ("This is slow going, this paling/of what's worse than purple/into some dumb lesser version/of lavender or black:/a much less lustrous pick/of what could be called my color/if I were better bred"). This issue also features a terrible and embarassing "conversation" between the poets Ontjes and McElroy (McElroy: "Now, when I'm writing, I'm playing the music of poetry but I'm also having fun with it"), and, sadly, this reading will feature "a continuation" of that interview. Ravenna Third Place Books, 6504 20th Ave NE, 525-2347, 7:30 pm, free.
Kill the Messenger is a mystery. Seattle Mystery Bookshop, 117 Cherry St, 587-5737, noon, free.
The Things We Do for Love is a novel about love and, well, the things we do for it. Third Place Books, 366-3333, 6:30 pm, free.
Quickies for Couples is actually a cookbook, you dirty fool. Although maybe it is for fast-fucking couples, I have no idea. Ravenna Third Place Books, 525-2347, 7:30 pm, free.
J. P. PATCHES
J. P. Patches: Northwest Icon is for "Patches Pals" and fans of the balloon animal, I presume. Third Place Books, 366-3333, 11 am, free.
The author reads from The Mindful Hiker: On the Trail to Find the Path. Elliott Bay Book Company, 624-6600, 2 pm, free.
No More Rejections: 50 Secrets to Writing a Manuscript That Sells is one of those pathetic books that pretends that being a writer means selling something. Still, if you're a writer and you want to sell something, maybe it'll help. Elliott Bay Book Company, 624-6600, 4:30 pm, free.
J. A. JANCE
The very last paragraph of the suspense novelist's latest, Day of the Dead, is: "'Tell Emma both Fat Crack Ortiz and I say she's welcome.'" Costco Wholesale, 1801 10th Ave NW, Issaquah, 858-450-3502, 4 pm, free (also at Queen Anne Books, 1811 Queen Anne Ave N, 283-5624, 6:30 pm, free).
L. A. HEBERLEIN
Every Man Must Build a Home is about androids and inter-dimensional travel. Elliott Bay Book Company, 624-6600, 7:30 pm, free. SUNDAY 7/25
The "educator" reads from Laugh and Live: Reclaiming Our Sense of Humor. Elliott Bay Book Company, 624-6600, 3 pm, free.
Coswell's Guide to Tambralinga is a "novel of travel." Elliott Bay Book Company, 624-6600, 7:30 pm, free.
* BOOKMARKS READING
A couple of sexy, sexy people read their sexy, sexy bookmark-sized essays. They include the sexy Ann Powers ("To confront the genuinely frayed relationship each of us has to our own histories, it's much more useful to start with a song"), the sexy Matt Briggs ("In the future, we will know our souls as we know our bodies"), the sexy Fionn Meade ("As we dart forth to please our mates, we approach each other as rainsqualls across headlands"), the sexy Greg Lundgren ("Yes, Seattle can lead a 21st century cultural renaissance--without question"), and the sexy Charles Mudede ("The total effect of this has been the eroticization of what was initially a sexless city"). Richard Hugo House, 1634 11th Ave, 322-7030, 7:30 pm, free.
The Kiss of the Prison Dancer is "moving," says one of the blurbs, though I've taken "moving" out of context. Elliott Bay Book Company, 624-6600, 7:30 pm, free.
The futurist author (or author and futurist?) reads from his latest, Dead Lines. Third Place Books, 366-3333, 7 pm, free.
FLOATING BRIDGE PRESS PONTOON ANTHOLOGY POETRY READING
People in Floating Bridge's latest anthology read their floating poetry. Queen Anne Books, 283-5624, 7 pm, free.
CHARLES De LINT
The author of The Onion Girl, Moonlight and Vines, and other books reads from and talks about his work. Kane Hall, Walker-Ames Room, University of Washington, 634-3400, 7:30 pm, $4.
SOLIHIN AND ALICIA THOM
Being Human is written by Solihin and Alicia Thom, who are robots. Third Place Books, 366-3333, 7 pm, free.
So You Wanna Be a Rock & Roll Star: How I Machine-Gunned a Roomful of Record Executives and Other True Tales from a Drummer's Life is an even longer title than my own book, So You Wanna Drive Other People Crazy: How I Machine-Gunned My Publisher into Letting Me Have This Ungodly Long Title. University Book Store, 4326 University Way NE, 634-3400, 7 pm, free.
ELLIOTT BAY POETRY NIGHT--Mon July 26 at 7:30 pm. Featuring work of Pablo Neruda. Elliott Bay Book Company, 624-6600, free.
ELLIOTT BAY OPEN MIKE NIGHT--Wed July 28. Signup at 7 pm, reading at 7:30 pm. Elliott Bay Book Company, 624-6600, free.
HOMELAND--Words. So many words. Tuesdays at 7 pm. Caffe Vita, 1005 E Pike St, 709-4440, free.
POETSWEST--Featuring Dana Elkun, Johnny Horton, Jonathan Shapiro. Sun July 25 at 7 pm. Penny Cafe, 1707 NW Market St, 682-1268, free.
RED SKY POETRY THEATER--Featured readers and an open mic. Sundays at 7 pm. Globe Cafe, 1531 14th Ave, 547-4585, free.
SCRATCHING POST--Poetry open mic, all ages. Thursdays at 8 pm, signup at 7:30 pm. Mr. Spot's Chai House, 5463 Leary Ave NW, 297-2424, free.
SEATTLE POETRY SLAM--Raucous evening of competitive performance poetry. Wednesday July 28's open slam is a qualifying slam for Bumberslam and features a performance by Seattle Poetry Slam's 2004 National Slam Team. Signup at 8 pm. Capitol Hill Arts Center, 1621 12th Ave, 388-0500, $5.
SEATTLE SPIT--Queer spoken word. First Thursday of every month at 8:30 pm. Wildrose, 1021 E Pike St, 369-2471, free.
STAGE FRIGHT--Youth open mic. Wed July 28 at 7 pm. Richard Hugo House, 1634 11th Ave, 322-7030, free.
TAKE A POEM INTO YOUR HEART--Poetry reading. Featuring John Burgess, Mike Dillon, Scott Galasso, Patricia Long. Fri July 23 at 7 pm. Open-mic signup at 6:45 pm. Lottie Motts Coffee Shop, 4900 Rainier Ave S, 725-8199, free.