We hold this truth to be self-evident: We, as a free people, have a right to make short pornographic films.

And we, as a newspaper, have sexy, adventurous readers, a goodly number of whom are into sex with robots. At least if this year's HUMP! entries are any indication. This is the third year of The Stranger's amateur porn contest, and it's the biggest, dirtiest HUMP! yet. This year's venue—On the Boards—seats three times as many people as last year's venue, and it has a bar! Advance tickets for all eight screenings have sold out, but a small amount of rush tickets will be available at the venue on a first-come, first-served basis before each show.

Here, you'll find capsule previews of all the films in competition for the HUMP! grand prizes, this year broken down into two categories: best hardcore film and best erotica/humor film. Winners get $2,000 and a bag of sex toys from Babeland. As with all previous years, all copies of the films shown in the festival will be destroyed in front of the audience after the last screening. So, you know, no worries.

Now let's HUMP!