DEAR EDITOR: David Schmader's retelling of a snubbed waitress [Last Days, June 1] is a perfect example of misplaced drama. Instead of seeing this unfortunate event for what it is (an excellent opportunity to comment on the universal difficulty of earning a living waiting tables), Schmader uses his 14 lines to roll his eyes and shake his head disgustedly at the obvious cause of this one-dollar-on-a-bar-tab travesty: an SUV-driving Californian! Of course! After all, Californian? Satan? They're the same, right? And well, no one indigenous to the ever-so-green state of Washington would ever choose to purchase an SUV when they could drive the enviro-friendly VW. Just look around. And tipping? Well, Washingtonians are born hard-coded with the annals of Miss Manners. I've waited tables in many states, and there are bad tippers everywhere. They're born, not made. Waiting tables is hard work. You're everyone's punching bag. You're on your feet for as long as 10 hours at a time, being snapped at, yelled for, and yelled at. And you're expected to do it all with a smile. Schmader should have used this anecdote to add an exclamation point to the importance of being a good person. California's my home state. I also tip well and use my blinker. Go figure.

Dawn Tanner, via e-mail

DEAR EDITORS: Clearly, Kathleen Wilson is a fraud and a bitch (and I don't mean that as praise) of the Britney Spears shallow fer-sure set. I knew I should've avoided her moniker--as I usually do to save myself the headache of reading the rantings of a self-absorbed diva in her own mind--but Steely Dan ["Point Taken," June 1] caught my attention. Seeing as my husband and I were headed to the Gorge only a few days hence of reading her--ahem, cough, cough, hack--review, I thought, why not, maybe this time, one of The Stranger's hate-everything bozos would actually fairly critique this long-running, acclaimed band. Hah! All I got from Kathleen Wilson's piece was a piece of her petty mind. Donald Fagen and Walter Becker are fucking ugly. They played to the camera on the Today Show in the "stupidest song" ever, "Peg." Thus, according to this alleged fan who bought every record, they suck, and fuck their Gorge concert. What the hell does any of what she wrote have to do with their music?! Much bullshit ado about nothing related whatsoever to MUSIC. And everything bullshit to do with appearances and superficial cachet.

Carol Banks Weber, Lynnwood

DEAR EDITORS: That was one pretty amazing non-review of Steely Dan on tour. Exactly what was the point? Was there any intention of doing an actual music review of, say, Steely Dan's most recent release? Or perhaps a review of the June 3 show at the Gorge Amphitheatre? Or did Kathleen Wilson use the pretense of writing about Steely Dan as a means to mount a sort of self-deprecating, center-of-attention bully pulpit? I sure as hell didn't need to read about her thighs or lemming-like pilgrimage to buy "eye cream" (which I can assure you is a racket, having worked in the industry). Anyway, she's far behind the curve in finding the [Steely Dan] boys "fugly." In the early 1970s, they were voted the World's Ugliest Rock 'n' Roll Group. But oh, the music is ever so sublime--better than almost anything to come out of a predominantly white band in the last 50 years. Kathleen, better make that TWO sessions a week until you get a grip, kid.

Diane De Rooy, Seattle

DEAR EDITORS: You know, there is an easy solution for the whole monorail mess ["Build the Monorail," Dan Savage, June 8]. All you have to do is build the monorail tracks, then build seats along the sides of the tracks, then have the Seahawks play in the monorail trains. This would allow hundreds of millions of dollars to become available, as the funding for this revolutionary "sports stadium" design attracts the attention of the "world-class city" crowd. Naturally, the monorail also raises interesting possibilities when it comes to sponsorship money. For example, trains, which already have a tubular shape, would be perfectly suited for cigarette companies. Lines could be named after sponsors: I, personally, am looking forward to catching the Marlboro Express to Ballard on the Key Bank line. Or maybe dinner at Ezell's after catching the Starbuck's Latte Special. Of course, another solution would be to just outlaw being poor or carless--the reduction in traffic achieved by this method will quickly eliminate the need for any further traffic reduction efforts. Mark Sidran, you listening?

"imthedon," via e-mail

EDITORS: Good article, but at least one error: Seattle Opera ticket prices start at $31, not $100 ["Build the Monorail," Dan Savage, June 8].

Anonymous

DEAR EDITORS: I was tickled by yet another PRESSING issue brought up by the delightfully enriching (and token fag) Dan Savage, which dealt with everyone's favorite homophobe (except for homos), Gary Locke, and that whole deal with his shifty attitude toward problems that this state has been plagued with for OH SO LONG ["Locke Suckers," June 1]. Gary grew reluctant to support gays because as we all know, for every good-hearted member of that homo fan club (which I am a proud member of--I even attend the meetings), there are about 10 angry, homo-hating tightasses who'd love to see any homo-loving politician die in the races. AND THEY VOTE! So what is Gary to do? How about addressing the problem quietly; being neutral. That's all he's doing! C'mon! Give the guy some credit for that.

Homo Fan Club Member #23, via e-mail

DEAR WHO'S WHO OF SEATTLE FAG-DOM: Take a good look at yourselves. You're a greedy, gutless group of shallow, supply-side cowards. "Our" leaders, never elected, are backstabbing pigs who sold their faggotry for money, influence, and power--the cheapest coinage in human affairs. They've turned Capitol Hill into a silly, high-rent boutique-a-thon. All the gay bars are sterile and clonish, thanks to their p.c. mentality. Seattle Men's Chorus is the same nitsy fag revue, rehashed ad nauseam. Gay City, Northwest AIDS Foundation, Gay Pride Foundation, et al. are run by cigar-chomping power brokers who dictate thinking, crush dissent, monitor creativity, and annihilate human potential. (By the way, thanks for Gary Locke, guys.) You slurp the SPD's ass as it victimizes gays, especially the homeless young. All for more power! You soil the young you claim to help, and discard those over 39. All because you now have power! The potentially brilliant Dan Savage has turned gay life into an Erma Bombeck nightmare--for money, influence, and self-love. Maybe this is why, underneath all the phony pride and hysterical mirth, alcohol and methamphetamine addictions are eating at the heart of our non-community, and why barebacking is the hottest death dance.

Jeffrey J. Steinberg,via e-mail

EDITORS: Josh Feit marginalizes the concerns and realities of all renters when he mischaracterizes the Tenants Union and Council Member Judy Nicastro ["Hey Renters!" June 1]. Feit paints a picture of those advocating decent affordable housing as " Marxist" in the case of the Tenants Union, and a "bomb-throwing proletariat dissident" in the case of Ms. Nicastro. By doing this, Feit makes the daily struggle tenants face in Seattle fodder for entertainment. In these times, his characterizations marginalize the discussion of real solutions for renters by making the solutions seem out of touch with reality. The Tenants Union believes all people deserve decent and safe housing they can afford. Eric Fredericksen recycles old arguments against rent control, stating that rent control "suppresses new development" ["How Dense Is Density?" June 1]. This has not proved itself true. In fact, John I. Gilderbloom (Rent Control: The Experience of U.S. Cities) found that in 110 cities with rent control, there was "no empirical evidence that rent control causes a decline in the quality or quantity of the housing stock." The government has an obligation and history of intervening when the market is preventing people from meeting their basic needs. Repealing the state law--which bans local governments from instituting rent regulations--would allow, in addition to rent control, smaller important measures. (For example, lease options for renters, and preventing rent increases in buildings with major safety and health violations.) A crucial piece of legislation that has the possibility of giving tenants control of their homes and preserving the affordable housing we have is the Right of First Refusal. This would allow tenants the first choice to purchase their homes when they are sold out from under them. The city happily subsidizes the profits of landlords as it prioritizes development to increase the supply of housing. The city should prioritize dignity in the lives of renters by subsidizing tenant groups in exercising a Right of First Refusal.

Scott Winn, Tenants Union