Every year when the hydroplanes come to town, I shake my head at the goofy spectacle of folks getting drunk, sunburned, and sometimes drowned as they watch boats race in fast circles. I cannot understand the attraction.

Every few years, somebody invites me to the symphony or the ballet and I go. But then I spend an endless night trying to stay awake. I cannot understand the attraction.

I am boggled by the success of the TV series Lost, the music of Josh Groban, and any glass sculpture.

I don't know why any sane person would want to live anywhere but Seattle.

Yes, I am a highly biased and irrational jerk, but I do realize the world is filled with competing and valid viewpoints. And I am not afraid to admit my mistakes.

So I admit that NBA basketball players are not Greek gods; they are demigods.