Band names are stupid anyway. Keith Johnson

Attention, audible world. Seattle has a new punk band you need to hear called the Crap: a trio featuring members of the Spits, the Briefs, and Strap Straps—Josh Kramer on guitar/vocals, Stevie Kicks Poulin on bass/vocals, Wayne Draves on drums. What you see with the Crap is what you get, and what you get makes you want more. Straight-ahead, premium, wack-free punk rock. Draves's drums are just kick, snare, hi-hat, and crash, while vocals call and ring with odes to Joey. When it's the time of the evening to slip into something more comfortable, the Crap slip into something more comfortable, and it's a 1987 IROC-Z28 T-Top. And this baby's got some zip. The songs are well-oiled and extremely polished metallic blue. For that little something extra, the Crap have all you could hope for under the hood. Double roller chain, Flowmasters 80 Series muffler, and a really nice-looking whale tail. Josh Kramer spoke, pouring ice-cold Pabst Blue Ribbon out of the tap at Shorty's in Belltown.

Let's get this out of the way: Do the Crap sound like crap?

We're the Crap, so I guess we do. Just having a good time.

Saying, "I'm getting really sick of all the crap" will never be the same again. Think of the possibilities: "You're totally full of crap." Or "The two frat dudes beat the crap out of each at the frat party."

Turn the crap off of the radio and buy a fucking record!

She injected heroin in between her toes, and it worried the crap out of her friend Glenda.

That's not a good time.

Did you all know there was a guy named Thomas Crapper who made lavatories in England? American servicemen stationed there during World War I would say, "I'm going to the crapper."

We don't know too much about Thomas Crapper.

Is your song "Young Professionals" about how Seattle developers are gutting the life out of the city?

Yes, it is. I've worked in Belltown for a long time, and so has Kicks. It's changed a lot. The whole city is turning into Bellevue, and it sucks. A lot of awesome places are getting mowed down for condos, from bars to practice spaces. I also miss pouring beers for my shithead friends—instead, I now serve entitled, cocky little cunts.

What's the name of the song you all have about the gigantic crackhead who came into Shorty's trying to get a gin and tonic in the middle of the day? How big was he? Like seven feet? If you're seven feet tall, you can probably smoke a lot of crack. Wait, how did you know he was on crack? Did he ever get the gin and tonic?

The song is called "4to9." The dude was gigantic. The smell of burnt plastic wafting off of him and the fact that he was wearing a leather vest and no shirt in the middle of January were sure signs of highness. But then again, I'm no expert. He never got his gin and tonic [laughs], and he threatened to kick my little white ass out the door. We yelled at each other for quite a while, and then he finally left. Thank god, because the guy was a dump truck.

How do songs come together for the Crap?

Kicks and I started messing around in between our other shit. I had a couple ideas, and so did Kicks. We fucked around for a few months, mostly getting wasted, until we actually had a couple songs. Then I called up Wayne, he came down, it was fun, and we decided to keep it going.

Where did you record? How were the sessions?

We recorded at our buddy Greg Gilmore's house. He has a little studio set up in his basement, so we went over and did a few. The recording was fun, except one by one we all caught the flu. So vocals took longer than normal because Kicks and I were hacking, and our voices were cracking like little kids'.

Who writes lyrics? Who are some of your favorite lyricists?

We all pitch in. I'll usually come up with an idea so we can test melodies over riffs, and then that usually snowballs once the booze kicks in. We keep it fun. I guess David Peel would be an influence. And the Kids. Obviously, a lot of classic rock.

Who produced for you? Say some shit about your process.

All of us, I guess, produced? We would go back and forth. Wayne and I would call each other to chat about stupid shit in the mixes that no one would even notice except us.

What's the Crap outlook on life? What is crap to the Crap?

We never go looking for action. We always assume it's in the glove compartment, so to speak, and all we need is a place to get it out and spread it around, like David Lee Roth said.

What are the plans for the album? When's it coming out?

We're not sure yet if we're gonna go for a record or a couple 7-inches. But it should be out in a couple months either way.

What other names besides the Crap were you all thinking about?

None. The Crap just stuck. Band names are so fucking stupid anyway. Fuck it. recommended