THURSDAY JULY 24
'Cremaster 3'
(FILM) Seattle should thank its lucky stars for receiving a full, glorious run of The Cremaster Cycle, and only a fool would've failed to attend at least one installment of Matthew Barney's enthrallingly obtuse masterwork. Calling all fools: Tonight brings the final night of Cremaster's stint in Seattle--a one-night-only encore screening of Cremaster 3, the concluding installment of Barney's five-part cycle devoted to the muscle that raises and lowers the testicles in response to external stimuli, and three and a half hours (with intermission) of the most mind-bendingly odd and beautiful images you'll ever see on a movie screen. (Varsity Theater, 4329 University Way NE, 632-3131. Shows at 4:15 and 8 pm.) DAVID SCHMADER
The Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Players
(TRIUMPHANT HOMECOMING) As soon as the Trachtenburgs traded poopypants Seattle--full of folks who'd rather gasp and sputter over pre-teen drummer Rachel hanging out in bars and (horror!) coffeehouses past what certain joyless busybodies considered her bedtime--for New York City, this quirky family act caught fame and notoriety almost instantly. Rachel became a sought-after celebrity, appearing in several magazines including Spin, and the Trachtenburgs appeared on more than one nationally televised late-night talk show. Good for them, and screw all the doubters back home who called Jason and Tina careless parents. Here's your chance to welcome them home. (Chop Suey, 1325 E Madison St, 324-8000, all-ages at 5 pm, 21+ at 10 pm, $10 adv. ) KATHLEEN WILSON


FRIDAY JULY 25
Fantagraphics Benefit
(GOOD CAUSE) When local publishing house Fantagraphics announced in early June that it was struggling financially, a grassroots campaign resulted in $80,000 worth of orders for their comic books/ graphic novels, helping the independent company patch up immediate problems. Now Built to Spill have graciously stepped in and offered to play two benefit shows to raise more money for Fantagraphics' starving artists. Tonight's performance is also a CD-release for local band Porter Harp; the second show happens Sunday night, with BTS and Kinski. You'll also be able to buy limited-edition show posters and browse a selected crop of Fantagraphics books at these events. (Fri July 25 at the Tractor Tavern, 5213 Ballard Ave NW, 789-3599, 9:30 pm, $15; Sat July 26 at the Crocodile, 2200 Second Ave, 441-5611, 6 pm, $20.) JENNIFER MAERZ


SATURDAY JULY 26
My Relationship
(MUSIC) After a 10-month hiatus, the Slender Means Society returns to form with the latest installment of its thematic showcase series, and since SMS director Zac Pennington (who shares an office with me, and whose capacity for annoyance knows no bounds) won't shut the fuck up about it, I feel compelled to offer this suggestion. This time around, participants are asked to explore the theme of "My Relationship," an idea fraught with possibility--and with participants like the Microphones (newly re-christened as Mount Eerie), Moldy Peach Kimya Dawson, Vancouver BC's p:ano, and Karl Blau, I don't feel too guilty about another conflict of interest. (Vera Project, 1916 Fourth Ave, 956-VERA, 8 pm, $7, all ages. ) MEGAN SELING


SUNDAY JULY 27
Beat-Bop
(DJ NIGHT) There are two reasons for recommending Beat-Bop: one, it's free, which is a good thing in times like these (Boeing is set to lay off 5,000 more workers, the fucking bastards); two, because it is the radiant center of all that happens throughout the week at the Baltic Room. The club has now established itself as the place for space funk, broken beats, and sci-fi jazz by bringing to town all the top international DJs who make and play this kind of new dance music. During Beat-Bop, the local DJs and promoters who are responsible for the Baltic Room's current reputation--the men and women who have organized shows featuring acts like Bugz in the Attic and Truby Trio--spin the very records that have transformed the club's image. With DJs AC Lewis, J Justice, Miss Kick, Brandy, Michael Antonia, and Atlee. (Baltic Room, 1207 Pine St, 625-4444, 10 pm, free. ) CHARLES MUDEDE
MONDAY JULY 28
Alexander McCall Smith
(READING) Alexander McCall Smith is the author of an unexpectedly successful mystery series that began in 1998 with The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency and is set in Botswana--a sparsely populated but democratic country that recently had to endure a visit from the current American president. The crimes in this mystery series are solved by a rather round and perspicacious woman named Precious Ramotswe, who established her detective agency by selling her father's cattle (cattle are the prized animal in Botswana, where they outnumber humans three to one). Smith will read from The Kalahari Typing School for Men, the latest mystery in this extraordinary series. (University of Washington, Kane Hall, room 130, 7 pm, free. ) CHARLES MUDEDE


TUESDAY JULY 29
Samuel R. Delany
(REPEAT VISIT) Samuel R. Delany, the author of numerous and numinous sci-fi novels, is one of the most important writers of the 20th century, and it's more than fucking amazing that in just under a month he returns to give a reading in what historians of the near future will certainly recognize as the last American city of the 20th century. (University of Washington, Kane Hall, room 130, 7:30 pm, $3-$4. ) CHARLES MUDEDE


WEDNESDAY JULY 30
Jim

Woodring
(READING) The great Jim Woodring, whose illustrations regularly grace these fortunate pages, celebrates the publication of The Frank Book (whose production costs were no doubt paid with money torn from the still-chilling hands of Fantagraphics), a retrospective on one of his most beloved characters. (University Bookstore, 4326 University Way NE, 634-3400, 7 pm, free.) CHARLES MUDEDE