The Güten Jüngs
(COMEDY) Fresh from a smash run at the Edmonton Fringe Fest, internationally acclaimed comedy duo the GÜTEN JÜNGS (featuring German comedian Georg Koeniger and San Francisco actor/video artist Andrew Stanley) return to Seattle to present GET OUTTA HERE, their performance art parody blending "comedy, slapstick, and Pirandellian existentialism." Sounds umlaut-errific! -- DAVID SCHMADER
Odd Duck Studio, 1214 10th Ave, 324-1062, Thurs-Sat at 8 pm & 10:30 pm, Sun at 8 pm, $8.
(LIVE MUSIC) Never one to let his career go stale, Portland's FERNANDO VICICONTE brings stylistic surprises with every recording. He first appeared as an acoustic country rocker, next as the frontman of Fernando, a scorching, Southern-influenced rock band. He followed that up with another rock album -- this time sung entirely in Spanish, Viciconte's native tongue. Tonight he'll be celebrating the release of Old Man Hotel (Cravedog Records), a proudly ROCKING, extremely accomplished further exploration of everything listed above. It's a stunning album, and I can't wait to see what comes next.
Tractor Tavern, 5213 Ballard Ave, 789-3599, 9:30 pm, $7.
(THEATER) The homosexual agenda for world domination continues with THE FAGGOT MUSEUM, local writer/performer MICHAEL WHISTLER's brand new solo piece commemorating various cultural manifestations of the ever-popular faggot, from musical-comedy queens to brunch 'n' antique fags to Log Cabin Republicans. Directed by James Haskins. -- DAVID SCHMADER
Theatre Off Jackson, 409 Seventh Ave S, Thurs-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 4 pm, through Oct 2, $12/10.
(VISUAL ART) NORMAN LUNDIN, a career professor in the University of Washington's art department, is being honored in his 60th year with a large show at the Frye Art Museum. His longtime gallery, Francine Seders, is concurrently showing a selection of recent work, opening today. Lundin paints both landscapes and still lifes, but his signal work is a painting that combines the genres, showing a near-empty studio space with maybe a TABLE and a GLASS, and a large landscape painting leaning against the WALL. In all his work, Lundin's cold, largely monochromatic palette evokes the Northwest light of winter better than anyone since Morris Graves. -- ERIC FREDERICKSEN
Norman Lundin: Light Interpretations opens 5-7 pm, at Francine Seders, 6701 Greenwood Ave N, 782-0355.
(DANCE) D-9 DANCE COLLECTIVE presents an evening of work by all those hot Northwest choreographers you've been reading raves about for years. Highlights include Amii LeGendre's JUST STOP IT, an athletic group work exploring the transition from antagonism to compassion, and Crispin Spaeth's LOVE MACRO, set to riveting '80s rock. Also featuring local fave Peggy Piacenza, along with Portland's Gregg Bielemeier and Napa Valley's Sarah McCormick. -- DAVID SCHMADER
On the Boards, 100 W Roy St, 217-9888, Fri-Sun at 8 pm, $14/$12.
Heaven Peace Gate
(THEATER) Seven large-scale puppets and a Taiko percussionist, along with a 20-foot long, 11-wheeled bicycle dragon, memorialize the 10-year anniversary of the massacre in Tiananmen Square in this free public performance by Seattle's Cry of the Rooster Theater. The performance, titled HEAVEN PEACE GATE, attempts to give voice to those who died in the 1989 Beijing event. -- TRACI VOGEL
Hing Hay Park, Sixth & Jackson, International District, 11 am-3 pm, free.
The Herb Ritts Project
(COMEDY) Local fringe comedy troupe UP IN YOUR GRILL wisely anticipates the forthcoming spate of Blair Witch parodies by getting its own version on the stage, pronto. In THE HERB RITTS PROJECT, three fabulous supermodels disappear in the WOODS while shooting a Fall Fashion Spectacular; a year later their footage is found. Check this out before you're so sick of Blair Witch jokes that you'd happily be shot in the corner of that spooky basement. -- DAVID SCHMADER
Union Garage Theatre, 1418 10th Ave, 444-4336, 11 pm & midnight, also Fri Sept 10 at 11 pm, pay what you want.
(LIVE MUSIC) It's been a long time coming, but PETER PARKER has finally released an album, and lo and behold, it's worth the wait. Migliore! (Magic Palace Records) is a sparkling shower of clever lyrics (of the non-pretentious variety), quirky sub-genre hopping (rock to pop to power pop to punk pop to hard rock and even some glam) and jittery, righteous BRAVADO. The band's days of riding Harvey Danger's coattails should end tonight. (With Harvey Danger, Death Cab for Cutie, Nevada Bachelors). -- KATHLEEN WILSON
Breakroom, 1325 E Madison, 860-5155, 9 pm, $7.
Book of Life
Book of Life
(FILM) Sunday is the Lord's day. Even though THE BOOK OF LIFE is slated for a two-week run, we can imagine no better day to see Hal Hartley's latest, a tale of JESUS (Martin Donovan), the Devil (Thomas Jay Ryan), and Armageddon, set in modern-day Manhattan. Though Jesus desperately wants to forgive the masses, He is contractually obligated by HIS DAD, GOD, to open the last of the seven seals (on a Mac Powerbook, of course). It's all very clever, really, but when Jesus and Satan complain about their jobs, that's when Hartley's humor shines through. Also starring PJ HARVEY as Jesus' loving sidekick, Magdalena. -- ANDY SPLETZER
Grand Illusion, 1403 NE 50th St, 523-3935, Fri Sept 10-Thurs Sept 23.
John Lee Hooker
(LIVE MUSIC) You could try making the argument most of us hipster shits use from time to time: An artist who is universally loved and respected must be overrated or soft-core. JOHN LEE HOOKER, however, is neither. Not only is his dark, brooding voice and buzzing Delta guitar what we've come to expect from the Blues, but Hooker is one of the few LIVING LEGENDS who still keeps it real. First of all, despite his fame and fortune, he still divides his time between Redwood City and Vallejo, California, two of the biggest SHITHOLES in the Bay Area. Secondly, he recorded for a long time under the name of Little Pork Chop, but he's no less a man for it. Which brings us to the third point: He may be older than dirt and richer than sin, but he can still kick your ass. Isn't that what the Puyallup Fair is all about? --
Puyallup Fair, I-5 S to Puyallup exit #142B, left onto Hwy 161, 253-841-5045, 7 pm, $10.
(AUTO RACING) Hot rods bring out the best in crowds: spilled popcorn, buzz cuts, oxygen deprivation. The EVERGREEN SPEEDWAY has been flexing its figure-8 track since 1952, featuring some of NASCAR's top drivers. All through the summertime the exhaust fumes fly, shimmering over heat-stoked pavement; the flags flutter, the beer spills. Catch your kicks on Route Evergreen. -- TRACI VOGEL
Evergreen Speedway, 17901 State Route 2, Monroe, WA, 360-794-7711, prices vary.
(READINGS) Journalist PHILIP GOUREVITCH possesses the extraordinary talent of writing about horrifying subjects with neither a veneer of sentimentality nor a shout of sensationalism. His book on Rwanda, We Wish to Inform You That Tomorrow We Will Be Killed with Our Families, is a masterpiece exploring the ideology of genocide, the minutia of which adds up to a moral document. As Gourevitch writes, "The best reason I have come up with for looking closely into Rwanda's stories is that ignoring them makes me even more uncomfortable about existence and my place in it." His descriptions of mass graves, deserted villages, and fields green with the fertilizer of dead bodies haunt and disturb. -- TRACI VOGEL
Elliott Bay Bookstore, 101 S Main St, 624-6600, 7:30 pm, free (advance tickets recommended).
Have a Male Orgasm
(CLASS) Seattle Institute for Sex Therapy, Education and Research (SISTER) convenes a one-day workshop on the MALE ORGASM. "Learn how to extend erotic sensation, increase the power of erection as well as orgasm and become multi-orgasmic." And if you think you're going to come too soon, think about baseball. Although, man, that A-Rod is pretty hot... I'd really like to catch his balls, if you know what I... oh shit. Sorry. Did you come, too? No? Damn. -- ERIC FREDERICKSEN
Men's Orgasm will be held at 8:30 at SISTER, 100 NE 56th St; pre-registration is required; call 522-8588 ext 2.
Old School Sci-Fi
(FILM) It's Wednesday night, for cryin' out loud. No one gets laid on Wednesday nights. Get over to LINDA'S TAVERN and slide a frothy pitcher of ale over to the back patio, where Linda's summer movie series -- devoted to all things kitschy, retro, and just plain bizarre -- is almost ready to end for the season. Tonight is devoted to "Master of Disaster" Irwin Allen: Two of his old school sci-fi television shows will be screened (Lost in Space, 1967, Land of the Giants, 1968), complete with their original late-'60s commercials. Expect lots of giggles and nostalgia. Bring your own Swanson's Salisbury Steak. -- MIN LIAO
Linda's Tavern, 707 E Pine St, 325-1220, at dusk, free.