THURSDAY 4/13


The Comedy of Errors

(THEATER) We've seen two productions of King Lear in the past six months -- isn't it about time that damn Bard gave us a good laugh already? Bouncing playfully along with two sets of separated-at-birth twins and the requisite mistaken identity, The Comedy of Errors is big, boisterous Shakespeare, and Bay Area director Danny Scheie is rumored to be just the person to shamelessly squeeze it for all it's worth. His staging has already won over his home state (San Francisco Weekly called it "theatrical bliss"), and features live music and a game cast of eight people in 16 roles. STEVE WIECKING

UW Ethnic Cultural Theatre, 3940 Brooklyn Ave NE, 286-0728, Thurs-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm, through May 7, $10-$20.


Flame

(FILM) Because it is a Zimbabwean film. Because my high school friend's mother made it. Because women in Zimbabwe are invisible, oppressed, and treated no better than farm animals. Because Zimbabwean men are sexist assholes. Because it was banned by the patriarchal and homophobic Zimbabwean government. Because Zimbabwe has been fucked into chaos, madness, and extreme poverty by this patriarchal government run by a senile septuagenarian named Robert Mugabe, who recently married a 30-year-old bimbo named Grace. Because President/Prime Minister/Chancellor (and whatever the fuck else he calls himself) Robert Mugabe and his Zanu PF party killed my grandmother last week. Because we need more films like this! You should not -- you cannot -- miss Flame. CHARLES MUDEDE

Little Theatre, 608 19th Ave E, 675-2055, Thurs-Sun April 13-16, at 5:30, 7:30, 9:30 pm, $7.


Northwest New Works Festival 2000

(PERFORMANCE) On the Boards grants us many fresh, vital theatrical experiences throughout the year, but perhaps its most crucial contribution to the arts scene is a showcase for things to come. The Northwest New Works Festival, now in its 17th year, provides a unique opportunity for some of our most imaginative artists to develop new projects. Presenting five different programs over three weeks, the Festival is an exuberant multi-disciplined, multi-media celebration, highlighting contemporary choreography, music, and performance featuring talent ranging from the Young Composer's Collective to dancer-choreographer Peggy Piacenza (whose piece, Anybird, combines dance and animation). Be sure to check out this year's diverse treats. STEVE WIECKING

On the Boards, 100 W Roy St, 217-9888, Thurs-Sun at 8 pm on the Mainstage and 9 pm in the Studio Theater, through April 29. Mainstage tickets are $12, Studio Theater tickets are $10, and Flexi-Passes (five admissions) are just $35.


FRIDAY 4/14


Diavolo's Catapult

(THEATER) Alternately and simultaneously physical, theatrical, meditative, and hallucinatory, the Los Angeles-based company Diavolo's Catapult holds secrets they swear we have to witness to come anywhere near understanding. The troupe, led by choreographer Jacques Heim, is a highly collaborative bunch of artists composed of risk-taking dancers, gymnasts, and actors (past shows have seen them skiing down staircases and sliding down pegboard walls). The work-in-progress they're bringing to Seattle forces you to rethink your relationship with your everyday environment -- couches, chairs, benches, and wheels are reinvented -- and, based on advance publicity, it's contemplation well-spent. STEVE WIECKING

Moore Theatre, 1932 Second Ave, 292-ARTS, Fri-Sat April 14-15 only; 8 pm, $18.50-$30.


The Borges Quartet

(FILM) The best-known Argentinean writer of all time, Jorge Luis Borges, wrote poetry, fiction, film reviews, magazine articles, and whatever else he could think of; even after he went blind, he continued to write. His most famous stories involve labyrinths of time and space, the inevitability of death, the universality of man, and clever twists and turns that would eventually inspire the best Twilight Zone episodes. In celebration of this master of the short story, curator Robert Graves has commissioned four new works from four filmmakers across the country, including San Francisco's Michael Wilson, the New York team of Rebecca Bird and Matthew Thurber, Graves himself, and me, Me, ME! Come on down and see what the hell I'm up to when I'm not holed up watching movies in some dark and dank theater, and see some good new movies, too. ANDY SPLETZER

Consolidated Works, 410 Terry Ave N (between Harrison and Republican), 860-5245, Fri-Sun April 14-16 at 8 pm, 10 pm, $7/$5 members.


SATURDAY 4/15


Matthew Sweet

(LIVE MUSIC) "I didn't think I'd find you perfect in so many ways." I never liked Matthew Sweet until I heard that line, from "I've Been Waiting." I had thought he was wuss music -- which, basically, he is, with a Beatles influence -- until I actually listened to the words, which I hate to admit, I found touching. You know, if some guy said to me, "I didn't think I'd find you perfect in so many ways," I wouldn't know what to do. Nobody ever says that kind of stuff to me, certainly not a boyfriend-type fella. But Matthew Sweet is there to remind me that it could happen. Someday. ERIN FRANZMAN

Showbox, 1426 First Ave, 628-3151, 9 pm, $19.


Karate Competition 2000

(SPORT) You see him down a dark alley, the road slicked with rain. The night is blue when reflected on concrete. There is the heart-stopping chill of his cry, "Eyy-AH!" -- the challenge, and suddenly you must defend yourself. Balance comes from the inside, my son. Seek peace and peace will find you. Wax on, wax off. These are the sentiments of the Great NW Sabaki Full-Contact Karate Competition 2000. When I see you there, I will bow. TRACI VOGEL

Seattle Center, Mercer Arena, 292-ARTS, 6 pm, $12-$25.


SUNDAY 4/16


An All-Star Tribute to Joni Mitchell

(TV) FACT: Joni Mitchell's real name is Roberta Joan Anderson. FACT: She's originally a Canuck -- she was born in Saskatchewan, and remained there until her early 20s. FACT: Roberta was stricken with polio when she was nine, and discovered her passion for music while recovering in a children's hospital. But enough boo-hoo facts! This wailing icon has attained ass-kissing, "music legend" status, and has earned her own TNT Masters Series television special: An All-Star Tribute to Joni Mitchell, hosted by the beautiful and fabulous Miss ASHLEY JUDD (who, by the way, deserves her own All-Star Tribute). Like TNT's Burt Bacharach: One Amazing Night and An All-Star Tribute to Johnny Cash, a variety of pop stars (including Elton John, Chaka Khan, and k.d. lang) will perform for Joni, while Ashley and other celebs "praise," "salute," and "celebrate" her all night long. MIN LIAO

TNT, 9 pm.


MONDAY 4/17


Ask Jesus!

(WEBSITE) Want to see what Jesus thinks of your website (or anyone else's)? Go to www.askjesus.org, and type any web URL into the search engine. Our Lord and Savior will work his magic, and turn the web page into a bastion of Christian glory. Plug in The Stranger's website, and you'll see our illustrations replaced with Christ figures bearing hamburgers. Microsoft's home page will now refer to the company as "the befouler," with a link to "The Slave-Trade Tower of Babel." On Amazon.com, inquiring about your order becomes "Wither's Mine Stuff? Nobody Knows but Jesus." Oh, the hilarity. MELODY MOSS

Ask Jesus any time of day or night, at www.askjesus.org.


TUESDAY 4/18


William Zahner

(LECTURE) The Frank Gehry-designed home of the Experience Music Project is aesthetically challenging, sure, but it's especially challenging to the people who actually had to build the thing. Zahner is president of A. Zahner Company, which collaborated or consulted with Gehry in creating the curving, shingled, faceted metal roofing and walls of the Weisman Art Museum in Minneapolis, the Disney Concert Hall in L.A., and the Guggenheim Bilbao, as well as the EMP. He is thus, most likely, some form of genius. ERIC FREDERICKSEN

Seattle Art Museum, First and University, 6:30 pm, $5; e-mail Space.City at etc@space-city.net for more info.


WEDNESDAY 4/19


Money Buys Happiness Gala Opening

(FILM) To herald the premiere theatrical run of this charming, semi-improvisational, ineluctably local film -- which offers the chance to see several of Seattle's finest actors (Megan Murphy, Michael Chick, Cynthia Whalen, and Cathy Sutherland, among countless others) without having to sit through a play -- and to help raise much-needed funds for their very ambitious current production, SILENCE!, the fine people at WigglyWorld Studios present this fundraiser screening, with reception to follow. For those who talk a good game about supporting the local arts scene, here's a chance to vote with your dough. I'm sure the Microsoft situation will have worked itself out by Wednesday, so bring your checkbook. SEAN NELSON

Little Theatre, 608 19th Ave E, 329-2629 to RSVP, 8 pm, $25.