1. On Monday, this year's Pulitzer Prizes were announced, with JEN GRAVES named as a finalist for criticism. This is, of course, a great honor for a publication. How does The Stranger celebrate? By omitting any of Graves's art criticism from this issue. Of course, there is plenty of room for a lengthy special feature describing certain affordable food items available at new Seattle-area eating establishments. Although this "Cheap Eats" guide was likely assembled days or even weeks before Ms. Graves was honored by the Pulitzer committee, doesn't it somehow feel like a slap in Joseph Pulitzer's face?
2. Speaking of using plenty of room, DOMINIC HOLDEN supplies an overlong article—8,000 words at last count, though who knows, it may have bloated even more in the production and final editorial process—about the Seattle Police Department and Mayor Ed Murray's attempts to quote-unquote "unravel" reform within it. The Stranger itself famously (and heavy-handedly) promoted the election and unsuccessful reelection of former mayor Mike McGinn, whom Murray replaced; Holden was himself a high-profile figure in a case involving police officers. On a scale of 1 to 10—with 1 being entirely objective and 10 entirely scurrilous—how objective can Holden's article possibly be? Go to 11, if need be.
3. Speaking of Pulitzer Prizes, Pulitzer winner ELI SANDERS makes a rare contribution to the music section. His piece previews a concert that will benefit the Angel Band Project, which Sanders explains "seeks to provide music therapy to survivors of sexual violence." Considering the context of a paper staffed by a Pulitzer finalist and a Pulitzer winner, what do you think Holden's anti-SPD, anti-Murray screed is most likely to do?
a. Burst into flames.
b. Be immediately forgotten.
c. Be revealed as the shoddy hit piece that it is.
4. In the film section, GILLIAN ANDERSON reviews a documentary about penis collecting. You can practically hear the chortles rising from the page, and the review contains a wholly unnecessary number of uses of the word "penis"—12 total. The impression a reader gets is that of a third-grader in Sunday school who can't stop tittering over the word "hell" being used in polite company. How many uses of "penis" do you feel would be appropriate in a film review? How many uses would be overkill?
5. DAVID SCHMADER's "humorous" week-in-review roundup includes accidental death and child pornography. What could be funnier than this, besides literally anything?