1. As ANNA MINARD brags in her news story, The Stranger has won its battle against sound economic theory, with Seattle embracing a $15-an-hour minimum wage that's sure to topple small business and drive its citizenry to the suburbs with out-of-control inflation. Now that they've had their greatest victory since Mike McGinn's disastrous mayoralty, what could The Stranger possibly be planning for an encore? Choose from one of the following options:
a. The legalization of prostitution.
b. The lowering of Washington State's age-of-consent laws.
c. The decriminalization of cocaine.
d. Forced veganism.
2. Actually, the newest item on The Stranger's agenda seems to be all-out war with Amazon, the company that is most directly related to Seattle's booming economy. This week's feature is a collection of stories about Amazon and Seattle, and what a menagerie of dunderheadedness it is. ANSEL HERZ does what he does best—pestering innocent people on sidewalks. ELI SANDERS, typically, asks a lot of rhetorical questions about Amazon's dealings with Seattle and then fails to draw any conclusions. BRENDAN KILEY assesses rent with the economic understanding of a rabble-rousing schoolboy. And PAUL CONSTANT chimes in on Amazon with the usual fact-free histrionics we've come to expect from him. The fact that Constant loathes Amazon's success is a matter of record, but this marks the first time in which the rest of The Stranger's staff has followed him down this particular rabbit hole of jealousy. Compose an argument that The Stranger has consistently declined in quality since Constant's hiring as books editor in 2008. E-mail your argument to email@example.com.
3. JEN GRAVES reviews a giant head that was constructed on Seattle's waterfront for purposes of "art." Does the greater folly lie in the fact that Seattle Art Museum installed a giant head on the waterfront or the fact that The Stranger employs someone whose only job is to take wasteful expenditures like this seriously?
4. Here's the title of a story by DOMINIC HOLDEN: "The SPD's Internal Revolt: A Lawsuit by More Than 100 Officers Trying to Block Reform Reveals a Bigger Problem Than Some Admit." Have you ever read a more stultifying headline in your life? Would you call this headline "gibberish" or, perhaps more kindly, "gobbledegook"? If you were forced to guess what the story is about, what would you say?