NEWS Just last week Josh Feit and his comrade in banality Erica C. Barnett declared war on Seattle Weekly Editor Knute "Skip" Berger over the exceedingly bland topic of density. This week, JOSH FEIT continues the effort to lull The Stranger readership into a collective coma by filing yet another piece on density. Will it not end until every last Stranger reader is persistently vegetative? ALSO: A story on "bike guerrillas" (whatever those are) and-BREAKING NEWS!-a local coffee shop will no longer be offering wi-fi. Ye Gods.

FEATURES When they're not busy promoting the sins of homosexuality and/or lambasting all religious faith, The Stranger occasionally tackles other topics. This week, both limp-wristed liberalism and civil disobedience get the "feature" treatment. EMILY WHITE, who once edited this miserable rag, chronicles her obsession with Air America, while AMY JENNIGES, who might as well be editing this miserable rag (she could certainly do no worse than Dan "The Work Year Is Four Months Long" Savage), reports on a local mother who decided to challenge the city's anti-skateparks- stance.

GENERAL OBSERVATIONS I'm always tickled when people come forward to admit or deny the real identity of Deep Throat, the anonymous source who fed information to those miserable hacks Woodward and Bernstein. And though this former FBI henchman "W. Mark Felt" (a man whose first name is a single initial is almost always using a pseudonym; that's first-year stuff) seems to have everyone eating out of his 91-year-old hands, a few of us know the truth. That's all I'm prepared to say at this time.