NEWS In a role reversal one can only describe as unfortunate, SEAN NELSON, this paper's most effete arts critic, gets it into his head that he's a political analyst. The result is a stultifying polemic about last week's terrorist bombings. ALSO: ERICA C. BARNETT shifts her attention away from the monorail (for a week, at least) and turns it on the incredibly pressing topic of strip clubs. And not a moment too soon. And then there's ELI SANDERS, who bloviates on the current White House leak "scandal," plastering Karl Rove with the Stranger's patented ideological tar-and-feathers routine.

SHORT FEATURE Turn It Around

ELI SANDERS spends 1,200 words analyzing the problems of the Gay Pride Parade, which happened two weeks ago. Perhaps next week he'll file a 10,000-word story on the miraculous time machine Stranger readers can use to go back in time to when this week's article was still relevant.

FEATURE Adventures in Tassel Twirling

Exposing this issue's theme, CIENNA MADRID infiltrates Seattle's burlesque scene and files a report. Between this and Barnett's stripper story in the news section, I'd say The Stranger has the showing-one's-genitals-to-the-world front sufficiently covered this week.

GENERAL OBSERVATIONS Cienna Madrid's feature story this week (barely readable though it is) brought me back to November of 1963, when I encountered perhaps the most wonderful woman I've ever met. Her name was Cherry and she was a fan dancer at Ruby's Dance Hall outside of Dallas. A white G-string she had on, and she was dancing with a white python around her neck. I only saw her for one second. She didn't see me at all. But I'll bet a month hasn't gone by since that I haven't thought of that girl. Had my business trip not gone haywire, I might have made her my wife.