RED DRESS PARTY

There are legends, of course. There are those who say that the Red Dress Party started way back in the misty wee '90s, someplace far, far away (like Chicago, maybe), when two lovers, both tragically infected with HIV, made a lover's pact: If one of them were to die, the other would attend the funeral in a red dress. This act of daring and love and drag and fashion captured imaginations and grew and spread and somehow morphed into the crimson-festooned gala it is today. (There are those who say other things, which is their constitutional right or whatever. IGNORE THEM.) Whatever the case, the Red Dress Party has blossomed in big cities and conscientious burgs from sea-to-gay-and-sparkly-sea for more than a decade, and Seattle's very own Red Dress Party is one big hot glamorous hottiefest is what. The premise? Simplicity: Put on a red dress—any old red dress will do!—have a glorious time, flirt with the hotties (and there are TONS of hotties is what I'm telling you), all the while raising a righteous pile of mad phat benjamins for The Cause. Deborah Cox, DJ Brian Gorr, DJ Almond Brown are spinning, and that old staple Gaysha Starr is doing what they call "hosting," and, of course, there's a best red dress contest. (Good luck! No, you're not that fat!) And I mentioned the hotties, right? Right. (Personally, I like to think of the Red Dress Party as a great and slutty-homo opportunity to mock Nancy Reagan. But me? I'm just fucked like that.) Fremont Studios, 9 pm, $40 adv/$60 DOS, 21+.

MATCH GAME

THIS IS A TOTES AWESOME THING! I cannot stress this enough. For you itsy-bitsy childrens out there who are, like me, faaar too fucking young to know what the hell a "Match Game" even is, let us turn to our good friend "Wikipedia" (whatever the hell that is) for answers: "Match Game (1970s–1980s) was an American television game show in which contestants attempted to match celebrities' answers to fill-in-the-blank questions." THIS IS A LIE! What Match Game really is, is a big faggoty and drunken train wreck in which Mad Libs are played in front of a live studio audience to dirty, degenerate effect—and Re-bar re-creates the classic format, just for you. I CANNOT RECOMMEND IT HIGHLY ENOUGH. (Emphasis on the "HIGHLY.") Re-bar, 7:30 pm, $12, 21+.