Firstly, I would like to apologize for my erection. (But not really!) SECOND! Happy Trannyshack, every'mo! It's finally here! I'm so excited! It's the most tranny-filled time of the year! (Bop, bop! Bop, bop!)...

Okay, that shoddy Christmas carol parody was bullshit: It's maybe not quite the most tranny-filled time of the year, really. Not around these salty and heavily mascara-ed shores. Seattle's drag scene has gone off like a hydrogen glitterbomb—I say confidently that it is probably the most vibrant and creative drag scene outside of RuPaul's greenroom. (Sorry, San Francisco! Sorry, NYC! FUCK YOU, GERMANY!)

Indeed, the New Drag has far exceeded the Lee Press-on grasp of the unlayable, CeCe Peniston–lip-synching hot messes of not-too-distant yore. Seattle's queens—so fresh! So alive!—have evolved to be the very K-Y Jelly that lubes the naughty thrusts of our nightlife. Our queens dominate the bars, the clubs, the bears, the cubs, the dining rooms, the dark rooms, the street corners, the "legitimate" theater—everything! And I'm so proud. We've turned out some seriously scary, top-drawer queens up in here. I won't bore you with a long list, but here's a long list: KIDDING! Let's get back to the point: TRANNYSHACK SEATTLE, a night celebrating all things trantastic.

Trannyshack is a famous drag revue born in San Francisco. Very occasionally, Trannyshack goes on the road to spread depravity, depravity, and hair so big it offends reason (also herpes) to places like HERE to people like US. Tonight's the night! Let's check in with Heklina, creatrix/ hostess of the event.

HA: Hi, Heklina! What's your favorite color?

Heklina: The delicious pink color of a young man's... oh, wait, can I say that?

HA: No! Do you think that sparkly vampire hairjob from the Twilights or whatever is a closet case?

Heklina: Do you mean Taylor Lautner?

HA: No! Trannyshack debuted Jinkx Monsoon to Seattle. Thoughts?

Heklina: I talked her into performing this time... she's gonna run down from her earlier show! Can you mention that?

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Ursula Android cohostesses, Ben Delacreme, Ade, Jackie Hell, Jinkx, and infinity more perform for you. Why? 'Cause it's the most tranny-filled time of-the-year! (Bop, bop!) Chop Suey, 11 pm, $12 adv/$20 DOS, 21+.