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Have you ever paused to consider that places and/or things like Neighbours and R Place and, oh, say, Changes in Wallingford, and such never, but NEVER-EVER-EVER, appear anywhere in this column? Not even a little bit? You have? Well. OH MY GOD! I'VE TOTALLY NOTICED THAT, TOO! Huh. Too fucking weird.

Anyway, tonight we're going to Pony. Now, the discerning 'mo needs zero extra incentive to spend an evening at Pony, because there's naked mens on the walls. And sometimes on the bar almost, yes, that's true, too. But it does bear noting that Pony—which is of course the best gay bar in the known universe and several unknown ones—occasionally DOES SPECIAL THINGS, and on those special-thing nights, Pony becomes an even specialer place, indeed, and even worthier of one's adulations.

Most of said special-thinged nights are themed events, overflowing with celebrity DJs, drag queens, fat-free pole-dancing hipster studs in their expensive fancy-pants underwear, and various other clubland notables. Case in point is tonight's event: Off with Their Heads, a "French Revolution victim's ball."

Now, some tried-and-true names who you know and already love to pieces are involved: Ade, for instance, who will perform in a powdered wig 10 feet high, and a thoroughly baroque Jackie Hell, who will help host. Our new good friend Kook Teflon, who is herself a walking very special event, will also be there to add dark sparkle to the spectacle, and have you heard of Gary Gloryhole yet? No? Well, he's a completely disgusting hoot is what, and he'll be performing, too. The DJs will be many and include: Justified Ancient, Pretty Baby (of Billion Dollar Babies), DJ Gallows Smile from Philadelphia, and Devil Eyes from Glitoris. In fact, the event is so grand in its concept that Shannon Colleen of Vain hair salon and Jordan Christianson of Jonquil & Mr Black have partnered to festoon the place in bloody French Revolutionary splendor. Costumes and gilt and gore and rolling head(s)—and no Anne Hathaways were hurt in the production of this event. As far as I know. Whatever. Pony, 9 pm, free, 21+.