First, a word...

JINKX IS GOING TO WIN THIS FUCKING THING. That's what I say. I feel it in my bone. (My. Great. Big. Bone.) And believe me, I had my doubts. And theories! I entertained suspicions, developed wild-thighed conjectures—way back a dragillion years ago, before all this madness officially began. It was shortly after Xmess, just when Jinkx had been freshly outed as a new RuPaul's Drag Race contestant but the season had yet to air. I saw Jinkx and Alaska Thunderfuck perform together on a dual billing, at a clever little club tucked away in some obscure elbow of Portland, and... something. Something in the way the two interacted, the way the show that night was billed, a certain je ne sais the fuck quoi that left an overwhelming taste of OHHOLYSHITBIRDS ALASKA TOTALLY WON in my mouth that I just couldn't spit out. But now? Jinkx, as she herself put it, is "pissing all over" this shit. Barring a vicious crossdressing coup or an epic act of injustice, she's got this competition in the glittery handbag. That's what I think. Just don't quote me on that if I'm wrong.

WEDNESDAY 4/17

JASPER'S FAMILY JEWELS

Anyhoo... Jennifer Jasper is a name that is cherished among Seattle's fringier theater scene and the audiences that love it. Tonight she transforms her critically acclaimed one-woman musings about her own family's singular dysfunction into a new monthly cabaret! Family Affair! Storytellers, dancers, writers, musicians, artists... each and all will be sharing their sick, hilarious, and ultimately relatable familial skeletons on the third Wednesday of each month. Tonight it begins. Rendezvous Jewelbox Theater, 7:30 pm, $10, 21+.

THURSDAY 4/18

ROCK LOBSTER REBOOT!

So. Some ancient and pervy cave called "Neighbours" is "rebooting" its ancient and pervy '80s-dance night called "Rock Lobster." Bwahahahahahahahahahaha! That is all. Neighbours, 10:30 pm, $6, 21+.

WAXIE MOON, FALLEN

But what we're REALLY doing tonight is Fallen Jewel. I wouldn't say screenings of this wonderful Seattle film, which features just about every colorful character and cherished performer in Seattle and stars the irrepressibly shiny burlesque star Waxie Moon, are rare (there was just one like two weeks ago!), but they are events worthy of our attention and love. Haven't seen it? See it! Have seen it? See it again! Tonight's host: Sarah Rudinoff! Perfect. Central Cinema, 8 pm, $12, 21+.