SOON TO BE LATE: THE BUS STOP

Some questions will never be answered. Examples: What the hell IS that strange dent in that one Capitol Hill drag queen's head? (Unfortunate hammer accident? Attack of the size 19 wedgie?) Why does Michelle Obama feel the compelling need to high-five people all the damn time? (And all those push-ups! Unseemly.) Why does that one hot gay-bar door dude love me when I come into the bar like a long-left-alone puppy with low self-esteem that's had to pee all day, when he, like, TOTALLY ignores me on light rail all the time? (I'd do him. Whatever.) Mysteries, each and all. And equally mysterious shall remain the real-life reason that our dear and beloved Bus Stop is about to go tits up (the fat lady did done sung her li'l heart out, stick a forked butt plug in this party, it's DONE). Co-owner Rodney says, "After eight amazing years, Gary and I have made the difficult decision that it's time to move on. Being part of your lives and this neighborhood has been one of the best experiences of my life. You are my friends and my family. OK. Enough with the Oprah shit. We have until the end of the month to make this the awesomest party ever." You better get in there to give the old girl a kiss good-bye, because this weekend is IT, baby. Bus Stop, 7 pm, free, 21+.

TO THE MOON, ROYALLY

Sass, class, and a great big bucket of even more sass and class—that's what the one, the only Adra Boo is. She rocks my stupid gay little sockxxx off. What a voice! What a presence! She is the allll-woman half of Fly Moon Royalty, the other half being Action Jackson, who is obviously a totally straight dude since he never returns my nekkid sexts (gol), and tonight the pair of them are going to rock all of our stupid gay little sockxxx off because THAT'S WHAT THEY DO. We don't get a ton of chances to see the glory that is FMR live these days for some reason, so miss this show with deep regret. With Le VICE from San Francisco and the Bad Tenants from here. Well, Bellingham. Same diff. The Glamorous Comet Tavern, 9 pm, $10, 21+.