TAMMIE BROWN: COMING TOGETHER

Drag queens! Holy Mary Mother of Pearl Cream, we're just crammed full of the damn things, aren't we? Covered in them! Like warm and occasionally bitchy quilts that can't be trusted with the cooking sherry. Some people blame it all on RuPaul, some blame the dawning of the Age of Aquarius or what-the-hell-ever (has that fucker dawned yet or not? I'm so cosmically confused...), some blame fluoride, and most people blame Obama, but it's wall-to-wall tuckage around here, that's for damn sure. Tonight's featured queen comes to us all the way from the faraway land of Corpus Christi and the faraway time of RuPaul's Drag Race Season 1 (Jesus—Jinkx must have been in diapers). Her name is Tammie Brown (but really she's a dude called Keith), and she is a pistol is what. She sings, she dances, she quips—she makes videos in which she sings and dances and quips! She's a singy-dancey-quipper if ever one did singy-dancey-quip, and she is one of the most endearing faces of Drag Race to date. Barring obvious recent developments. Ahem. Re-bar, 10 pm, $18 adv/$22 DOS, 21+.

JINKX MONSOON: THE RPDR 5 CELEBRATION PARTY

I'm kind of glad the whole fucking thing is over, quite frankly. (Just HOW much excitement can one little 'mo's nervous system handle? I ask you.) It's been a long, looooong (too long?) and bizarre and twisted and whiny and drinksy and sometimes pretty snarky and mean journey (thanks tons, ROXXXY), watching our little Jinkxy float to the top of the Drag Race pile like a hooker weave in a hurricane. Such talent! What compassion! Such alluring charms! So tonight will be the LAST NIGHT EVER that we have to pack ourselves into Julia's on Broadway (where the service is high—on life!) like impoverished Pringles just to ooooh and aaaaaaah at the magic that is Jinkx kicking ass in Drag Race. This marks the real and for-true end—she won! And tonight we're gonna drink like dehydrated sailors. Julia's on Broadway, 8 pm, $35 adv, 21+.