THURSDAY 5/30

THE JEWEL FALLS AGAIN

Way too much for us geighz to do! It's killing me in all the very best ways. Tonight let's rush off to a screening of the wonderful bucket of silly sexiness known as Waxie Moon in Fallen Jewel. Honestly, I'm less than exactly sure WTF is going on sometimes in this off-the-wall, Seattle-reference-packed film (and I've seen it twice!)—but dang it all, I EFFING LOVE IT. Don't miss it! Starring... everybody. (Almost. I wasn't asked.) Central Cinema, 8 pm, $12, all ages.

SATURDAY 6/1

JAMES FRANCO: KINKY FOR YOU

In the totally made-up naked interview with James Franco I just had in my head, he rolled over and whispered, "I produced this thuper-naughty little gay movie [Kink] about paddlings and bindings and unbridled butthole lovin' just for you, Adrian, only for you. Now kiss me like you did in Paris!" He also apologized for Oz the Great and Powerful, which was nice. Egyptian Theater, 9 pm, $12, 17+.

DJ RIZ DOES COCK & BULL

After James Franco's filthy movie, it is off to the thexxxy monthly dance night of flesh and fog and wicked intentions, Cock & Bull—this time featuring the magical talents of DJ Riz Rollins. Don't bother getting dressed for it. At all. Re-bar, 10 pm, $5, 21+.

SUNDAY 6/2

THE VAUDEVILLIANS

We've been waiting months for this. Now, you know Jinkx Monsoon good and proper by now, right? Played by the incomparable Jerick Hoffer? RPDR 5 winner? Don't try my patience. Well, Jerick isn't Jinkx this time—in this instance, Jerick is Jinkx playing Kitty Witless, and Richard Andriessen is playing Major Scales playing Dr. Dan. (Confusing!) The two play formerly frozen but recently revived vaudeville performers—hilarious, old-timey-yet-naughty-mouthed thrills ensue. Tonight they give Seattle one big sloppy kiss good-bye before they take this retro cabaret on its almost-sold-out New York City run! If there are tickets left (which is a toss-up, I fear), snatch those suckers up! N-o-w. Cornish Playhouse at Seattle Center, 7:30 and 9:30 pm, $10–$25, all ages.