THE TOTALLY GAY SING-ALONG
Haiii gurlfran. How you feelin'? Pridey? I thought so. Well, we've got metric shit tons of pride-flavored fabulousness to dump all over you like a big bucket of fudgepackulating glitter, so don't fret your pretty little head. Let's dive right the fuck in with one of my very favorite things in the known gay universe—the Totally Gay Sing-Along! Jason Miller of Central Cinema gathers together the gayest videos ever conceived from every dusty corner imaginable and plays them while you enjoy a nice cocktail and sing your delightful ass off. The cocktailier you get, the louder you get. Simple! These events are fun beyond the telling of it—you will drink and sing and dance in the aisles. You have no choice. Give in! It's destiny. Central Cinema, 8 pm, $10 adv/$12 DOS, all ages.
We begin Pride weekend damn good and proper with the first of three don't-you-dare-effing-miss-it Kevin Kauer (aka Nark) gala events. Yes, it happens at Neighbours, and yes, you know I love to ignore the place like a hobo on the bus, but let me hit you with a few words: Alaska Thunderfuck, Jinkx Monsoon, Ivy Winters, Honey Mahogany, Ben DeLaCreme, Jackie Hell, Ade, Aleksa Manila, Kitten LaRue, Lou Henry Hoover, Cherry Sur Bete, Olivia LaGarce, Cherdonna Shinatra. Neighbours, 9 pm–4 am, $35, 21+.
MEN AT SEA
No one speaks of cruising anymore, and that saddens me. The wonderful Robbie Turner is your hostess on The Islander Champagne Cruise—a daytime floating bacchanal of dancing, lust, and big gay love. Featuring DJ Freddy King of Pants... and brunch! The Islander Boat, 1611 Fairview Ave, brunch 2:30 pm, cruise 4–7 pm, $25, 21+.
After the cruise, we are off to the Queer Carnival, featuring tricks (both kinds) and burlesque, with Artstar, Cherdonna and Lou, DJ Trouble, sexy, sexy, SEXY little Welsh pop stud Bright Light Bright Light... and Jinkx Monsoon's secret little love monkey, Ivy Winters! (Get a room.) Happy Pride, you sick wonderful twisted queers! FRED Wildlife Refuge, 9 pm, $20, 21+.