BATMAN: CAMPY AND GAY

Before we wee 'mos toddle along onto this week's featured Big Geigh Events, let me just drop this little bug in your rear: OMGz!!! DETOX! VICKY VOX! And (most glorious of all, in my book), WILLEM! They're coming, you know. Could. You. Just. DIE??! That's all.

Last week, we had so very much gaydamn fun watching Collide-O-Scope, raw and bare in the great outside. So much so, in fact, that we're doing it all again this week, damn it, but with a lot less Collide-O-Scope/Seattle Center and a lot more Three Dollar Bill Cinema/Cal Anderson Park. (Less traveling, a lot more Capitol Hill. Praise Sheezus.) It's a lower-tech affair (no waterfalls), but Three Dollar Bill Cinema's movies out-in-the-gay-outdoors movie nights are a wonder tonic for the aching soul. Another picnic basket is necessary, of course (FULL OF FRESH GREEN WASHINGTON STATE FREEDOM, MAYHAP? Please, no, the event is "smoke free." Pffft), and a blanket upon which to repose, and brace your sweet self, for this time they are showing Batman: The Movie. But wait! Not that overblown deco '80s Michael Keaton version—the original and absurd and delightful (and absurdly delightful) '60s version based on the psychedelic TV show, complete with the Joker, Catwoman (Lee Meriwether, not Eartha Kitt OR Julie Newmar, tragically), Penguin (my fave—I just love me a villain in a bow tie), and Burt Ward's INHUMANLY GIGANTIC DONG. (It was legendary. Google that shit.) IN THE DARK IN A PARK! Just like the very best things. (Sex, mostly.) Cal Anderson Park, sunset, free, all ages.

KHIA LICKS MY CRACK

My neck! My back! My pussy! And my crack! Oh yeah, baby. You know you love it. Everyone does. Khia even made that famous song—"My Neck, My Back (Lick It)"—about it (forget anything else you've heard, that song is all about me), and our good friends at LICK! are bringing her to sing to you about it in person. Lucky, lucky you. Resident Licksters, the DJs Mathematix and Dewey Decimal, presiding. Chop Suey, 9 pm, $15 adv/$20 DOS, 21+.