THE WITCHES TITTIES, DARK ARTS

Feel that? It's Halloween creepy-crawling up your leg. And isn't it simply scrumptious? Indeed. Especially for us big gays, who do seem to go ever so frickin' bonkers for the unholy holiday. Goodness knows that I usually start celebrating in June and pitter off around Thanksgiving sometime, but this year we're all are going to start celebrating a bit early—tonight to be exact!—with some of the most darksome, delightful, and talented witches I know (and, baby, that's saying something). You might recall that last year I introduced you to Kook Teflon, a true Renaissance witch who wears a lot of (pointy) hats: She's an artist, a guide for Pike Place Market Ghost Tours, and, most importantly here, lead witch in the witchy witchcore band the Witches Titties! The Titties will be witching it up in their singular grinding/throbbing/punk-rock sort of way tonight with a few very special guests, including Raja, winner of RuPaul's Drag Race season 3, our own dearly beloved hometown freak show, Jackie Hell, and the amazing dark artist and performer from New Orleans, Vinsantos (I spent last Halloween with him in his very scary haunted studio on Rampart Street in old N'awlins—I'm still a little terrified). There will be guest DJs from all over the damn place and (ironically) live performances. A carnival of dark delights! I encourage you to be afraid—very, very afraid. Highline, 9 pm, $5, 21+.

'FRIDAY THE 13TH,' LIVE AND EFFED UP

Ian Bell is a crazazy brilliant man (emphasis on the crazazy), a mad comedic mastermind (emphasis on the mad), and his Brown Derby series is one of the universe's very best things: always a hit and never failing with the funny. Tonight, in support of our Halloweenie pursuits, he and his merry band of devils bring us the classic age-old morality play that's known as Friday the 13th, but all live and spoofed up, Brown Derby–style. (I can hear the fart jokes now.) If you can manage to not drink, smoke, or get laid somehow, you might just make it out alive. So, you know. Rest in peace. Re-bar, 8 pm, $17, 21+, Oct 24–26.