A FANTASIA OF FREEDOM
Are you kidding me, gurlfran? ALREADY?! It seems like only moments since the last one, but here we are! Faced with another flipping Fourth of July, and therefore also faced with that pageant of patriotic moxie and gleeful American Americana called Freedom Fantasia! Can you believe it's already in its fourth year? True. And you know it's always the biggest and bestest after-Pride event on the books, crammed to its red, white, and blue rafters full of thrilling dances (by thrilling dancers like our beloved and inimitable Kitten and Lou and Cherdonna Shinatra), world-famous drag queens (like the ever-so-creamy BenDeLaCreme), a little burlesque (because WHY THE HELL NOT?), and a whole bunch of satire, because AMERICA! That's why. This year's glittery extravaganza also features Scott Shoemaker (who doesn't make shoes so much as he makes me laugh my face apart), the sartorial and burlesquey Jamie Von Stratton (who should make me some clothes, kthx), Robbie Turner, and MORE—but no Jinkx Monsoon this year, because she's flying her gold and diamond private jet to claim her star on the Walk of Fame or something. That's sad. But if you miss this show, you're a fucking traitor to your people. That's all I'm saying. Two nights only! Triple Door, 7:30 pm (17+) and 10:30 pm (21+), $28–$40.
TAKE YOUR PULSE
And after Freedom Fantasia, we are off to Neighbours. We've been to Neighbours so much this year, I feel like a young'un with a wedge in my hair all over again. I'm not complaining! But did you know that they do special stuff like every flippin' night of the week? It's true! Even on Wednesday. The prolific drag family Paradisco basically owns the night, and the lovely Drew and Jessica Paradisco are your weekly hostesses for this sickeningly hot and schmexy night of sweaty dancing and delightful performances. Pro tips: Bring lots of singles for the queens, and whatever you do, don't try to start anything with anyone who is leaning against the mirrored post on the west side of the main dance floor, no matter how damn cute they are. It will end in disaster—TRUST ME ON THIS. (That thing is effingk cursed.) With DJs Trent Von and Dirty Brit. As always, enter in the rear. (Tee-hee!) Neighbours, 9 pm, free/$10 for under 21, 18+. 
