THURSDAY 7/31

MAKIN' MO WAVES WITH HARD TON AND THE ONONOS

'Mo-Wave (as in 'Mo-Wave queer music festival) has become quite the force to be reckoned with, and then of course there is Nark Magazine. Tonight these two powerhouses conjoin their ever-so-gay and nightlifey powers with those of Friends with Benefits Records to present us all with a glorious gift: Hard Ton! Hard Ton are a disco-house duo who come to us from the watery streets of Venice, Italy, itself, and they have been aptly described as a molten mass of talent resembling "the fashion of Leigh Bowrey, the audacity of Divine, and the voice of Sylvester"! I dare you to come up with a gayer combination than that. Bill them with our own beloved Ononos and San Francisco's Two Dudes in Love and the Tempers, and the gay just might melt your face off. Chop Suey, 8 pm, $12 adv/$15 DOS, 21+.

SATURDAY 8/2

BRUNCH BOAT CRUISE

Speaking of Nark (and aren't we always?), did you know Nark is throwing those amazing and usually-only-once-per-year YACHT PARTIES several times this summer? On Lake Union's Islander Yacht? It's true! Let me paint you a picture: The hottest and most depraved people in Seattle all crowd onto a boat, strip down to the most amount of nothing possible, drink their livers dry, get frisky, dance, laugh, and occasionally barf (hydrate, people, hydrate!) in what is definitely the funnest queer party-at-sea that any Sea-town 'mo has ever seen. Hosted by the super-hunky Shawn Morales of the RuPaul's Drag Race Scruff Pit Crew! Islander Yacht, 1–5 pm, $23, 21+.

SUNDAY 8/3

A WHOLE NEW DRAG BRUNCH

Oh so very few things in this sick and delicious life are as absurdly gay as BRUNCH, let's face it. Not blowjobs, not buttsex, not a kitten bush in an Easter bonnet clutching a bouquet of clowns at a White Party sponsored by Scruff. With one crucial exception! Julia's on Broadway—a "throbbing drag empire" indeed, if I may quote me (and I always can). So logically, if you put the two together, what you get is THUPERGAYNESS squared times infinity plus one. And if you haven't been for a while—or, goddess forbid, EVER—this is what you must know: The show has flipped on its bewigged head and added tons of new material. "Aside from the opening and closing numbers, everything has changed!" costumer Pakio Galore assured us. New costumes, new performers, new numbers, new breakfast items! (Try the European French toast, srsly, gurl.) So today is the perfect day for a delicious outing to experience all the incredible draggy newness that is Julia's Queen of the Brunch. But srsly, gurl, the French toast. Srsly. Julia's on Broadway, 2 pm, $15/$25 VIP, 21+. recommended