TAKEI TOO GAY

Honestly? I never thought I'd live to see a day when Lieutenant flipping Sulu from Star Trek (the original long-ago one, even! With Captain Kirk and Spock and everything!) became a huge, blinking gay icon and equal-rights freedom fighter (or even, as David Schmader so aptly puts it, "a national treasure"—and not the super-lame Nicolas Cage kind, mind you). And yet, here we are, queer we are, so we might as well just get used to it. Tonight is your last chance to see the long-awaited and much-fussed-about documentary about his singularly fascinating life, trials, tribulations, and big gay existence in general, To Be Takei! Did you know he didn't come out until 2005, when the Governator vetoed marriage equality legislation in California and he got just SO PISSED? Did you know he and his entire family were forced into internment camps during World War II? Of course you did! But now you can experience all the ins and outs of the man who has become one of the most respected and beloved gay-rights activists on the planet. Or any other planet, for that matter. (Also includes deep space.) SIFF Cinema Uptown, 8:40 pm, $12, all ages.

PAKIN' IT IN

There is basically one big round yellow freak haunting all of our twisted dreams this week, and it goes WAKA, WAKA, WAKA, WAKA... glug, glug, glug, hic! Exactly! Ms. Pak-Man! (Yep, she's spelling it with a K now.) Some people thought she was dead! Some people thought she retired! Some people thought she was in jail! (And SOME people were right!) The digital, fruit-eating, ghost-chased video-game legend has escaped her blinking maze and lives again in this sure-to-be-fuck-you-sideways-hilarious new show that I, for one, have been waiting for MONTHS to finally happen—ever since they launched a remarkably successful Kickstarter to fund it. Picture it: The best fringe theater artists to ever fringe theater put their wondrous and fringey brains together and conjured forth a drunken, wobbling, reminiscing mess of a Ms. Pak-Man that is "done chasing the ghosts of her past," and is here to chase a couple (dozen) martinis with some songs, a lot of camp, magic pills, and a pocketful of quarters. Really, if you miss this, you will die riddled with regret, and what's more? YOU'LL DESERVE TO. Starring the brilliant Scott Shoemaker. WAKA, WAKA. Re-bar, 8 pm, $20 adv/$25 DOS, 21+, Sept 4–6.