GUNCLE, EPISODE 1

Everyone needs (and damn rightly deserves!) a little Gay Uncle Time in their lives, so here the hell you go! This is the first of a brand-new, once-a-month night full of very homosexual (and homo-adjacent) comedians who will bedazzle your big gay brains with the funny. The event is a spin-off of the Comedy Womb, Seattle's notable women-centric comedy salon, and it is slated to feature the bizarre talents of plenty of funny people you've heard of (and probably even a few who you haven't), including the ever-fuzzy EmpeROAR Fabulous, SuperNova-Majesty Michaels, and the singular kvetchings of Autumn Equinox-Weinstein. Rendezvous, 7 pm, $5, 21+.

GETCHER GEAR ON

Now! I'm not saying that I indulge in any of that kinky nonsense like, oh, you know, B&D and/or S&M (not to be confused with SNL, which I REALLY don't indulge in), nor am I saying I am so much into such things as slings or leather or rubber or junk like that. What I'm saying is I am going to be at the good old Cuff tonight, and if they just HAPPEN to be holding one of their (possibly scorching-hot) Gear Nights, in which you are asked to don fetishy/leathery gear (which, um, they are), well. I have absolutely nothing to say about that. The Cuff, 9 pm–3 am, $7, 21+.

AREA 2181: HOMOSEX 101

This is clearly the naughtiest new night at the Eagle, and that's saying something. This month's theme (every one is themed, don'tcha know) is a "Back to School" thing, which seems appropriate enough for this time of year, I suppose, but clearly the organizers fail to realize that Back to School time always threw me into hysterical fits of crying and crushing malaise because, let's face it, school is just THE WORST. But I'll forgive them. (This time.) Dress the code ("slutty schoolboy") and come ready to polish some apples. With DJ Derek Pavone (my favorite!). The Eagle, 9 pm–3 am, $5, 21+.