THURSDAY 10/23

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BROWN DERBY SCREAMS

Hulloooomosexuals! Now, I am not going to sit here and sprain my typey little fingers trying to convince you how flip-flapping brilliant and hilarious Ian Bell and his mad Brown Derby players are. If you were born with the sense God gave a grape nut you damn well already know. It is merely my intention to inform you that they are aiming said brilliant hilariousness at my all-time favorite '90s teen slasher-flick, Scream (the movie that heralded the triumphant return of Drew Barrymore's lisp and introduced the world to death by garage door), and they are going to spoof the holy living shit out of it. As usual, you have only three fleeting, measly nights to see it. Re-bar, 8 pm, $20, 21+.

FRIDAY 10/24

CHERDONNA DOES HERSELF

I KNOW, right?! The first time I saw the amazing explosion of color and camp that calls herself Cherdonna Shinatra, I was thoroughly convinced that I was looking at a drag queen. And so were you. How silly we were! What Cherdonna really is is nothing less than one of the most talented and engaging entertainers in Seattle. Innovative choreography and the visage (Those EYES! Those LIPS! That gravity-defying cotton candy HAIR!) are Cherdonna's weapons of choice, and she utilizes them with the skill of a gloriously camped-up dancing ninja. And tonight! We flock to experience her very first evening-length solo show, Worth My Salt, before it's gone forever. Velocity Dance Center, 8 pm, $20 adv/$25 dos, all ages.

MONDAY 10/27

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COLLIDE-O-HELL

I'm just going to come out and say it: Collide-O-Scope is a stoner's paradise. They give you free tooth-rotting snacks and then explode your brains apart with hilarious and amazing video clips. It's created and curated by the marvelously twisted minds of the boys who gave the world many of Dina Martina's unforgettable videos (Shane Whalund and Michael Anderson, to be precise), and this is their very special Halloween installment, featuring witches and ghosts and evil clowns, and a special performance by Seattle's true evil clown / queen of screams, Jackie Hell! Re-bar, 8 pm, $7, 21+.