FRIDAY 11/14

GET STIFFED

But lo! So many glittering gay treasures Seattle clutches to its brine-soaked, salmon-stinking heart. Chief among these, of course, is KEXP DJ Riz Rollins. Any Seattleite worth his salt-pruned fingers has ensconced Riz among this little fishing village's patron saints and worships his funky ass accordingly. Tonight he and the marvelous DJ Pavone oversee the move of the popular monthly disco event STIFFED from Pony to the more spacious floors of Kremwerk, where they shall continue the party in earnest—bigger, better, and badder, we are promised. The inaugural event at the new digs will include a live performance by Kate Moore and go-go boys wearing as next to nothing as the law allows, so, you know. Bring singles. Lots and lots of singles. Kremwerk, 8 pm, free before 10 pm/$5 after, 21+.

SATURDAY 11/15

FURIOUS TULIPS

Umm... featuring Asa Base and Todd LaTodd? Written by Sampson N. Delilah? Brought to you by Feingold's Syrup and staring (GASP!) Craig Trolli for the love of bleeding Jesus? Are these people fucking putting me on? Why yes, they are. This ramshackle crew—bastard orphans of half a dozen erstwhile theater troupes—take to the boards once again to bring us the rather hilariously named Tulips of Fury, a staged "live radio show" following the adventures of Miep and Magda, members of the Dutch Resistance, as they battle Nazis, foil Hitler's most nefarious schemes, and just be big bad dykes in general. There shall be pantsuits aplenty, high-kicks galore, and some very fancy hats. Our friend Mr. Trolli calls it "a '40s radio show by way of '70s sexploitation films"! You have been quite warned. Re-bar, 7 pm, $15, 21+.

SUNDAY 11/16

MATCH GAME

This isn't, like, shameless self-promotion or anything tacky like that (I swear!), but Seattle's version of the old star-studded game show is one of my favorite monthly things, and this time it will feature... ahem... ME! So please join this so-called "ME!" and Gary Gloryhole and Robbie Turner and a host of other fabulous characters for a frolicsome night of fun and laughs, and please! Do pardon me if I suck. I'm dancing as fast as I... BLANK. Re-bar, 7:30 pm, $10, 21+.