Thurs 7/15

Noddy at the Can Can

Gay party army! Heed me now like you have never heeded me now before! THIS THING YOU MUST DO! And this is why you must do it: SEXY SEX. (Duh.) Noddy are a band that's two-thirds made up of Jared Mills and Reese Umbaugh. Jared is lead singer-songwriter, and Reese, Jared's seck-shay manpanion, is, as the music folk say, "keyboards." So? So Jared is also Seattle's Sexiest Librarian 2010 (read a muthafuckin' book!), he's sworn a blood oath to shed most-to-all clothing early into the set, and he and Reese both vow to get totally porn nasty on each other's asses for your amusement at least twice. I've got signatures on paper, people! (Plus: awesome music!) ALSO. The event follows the so-called digital release of their new work, Ramora, Ramora, which just might be THE BEGINNING OF THE END. As I reported on LineOut (March 4, 2010), Jared plans to abandon his God-given position as Seattle's Preeminently (Fuckable) Gay Rockstar forever, soon. Ergo, this Noddy appearance shall be almost the last for eternity. Sob. (Noddy shows drown in crowded sweaty gay electroclash love—de-attire appropriately.) Can Can, 10 pm, $5, 21+.

Sat 7/17

All About Evil Pre-Party at Pony

The murderous orgy that officially kicks off the more cinematically bent murderous orgy below. Blood-spattered performances by the finest of the freakiest: Ben DeLaCreme, Ade, others. Cheap alcohol and sex opportunities. Miss it and die! Unlaid! Pony, 8:30 pm, free, 21+.

All About Evil at the Egyptian

Peaches Christ is San Francisco's tranny trixtress nonpareil. Peaches is quite famous for her elaborate "Midnight Mass" movie gala events in San Fran, and this event is like that, but in Seattle, and instead of a random movie, it's Peaches' OWN murderous movie, All About Evil: The Peaches Christ Experience in 4-D! Starring Natasha Lyonne! That Cassandra-what's-her-face-Elvira lady! Mink Stole! This freaky flippin' thing is going to SELL OUT YESTERDAY, so if you're going to get tickets, damnit, get 'em. Dress most evilly! It is deeply encouraged. With prizes! Mwahaha! And so forth! Egyptian, midnight, $13.

Assert your gayness to adrian@ thestranger.com.