Friday 12/3


Seattle Erotic Art Festival Presents: Auction Beltane! Join us May 1st for a sexy, delicious evening.
Tickets $15-$250. Aphrodesia delivery menu, incredible auction items, live streamed performances.

I've seen those delicious so-called Dandy Warhols at the Showbox before, you know. Two things happened: I totally accidentally copped a glance at Courtney Taylor-Taylor's penis (awesome) under completely undignified circumstances, and the leader of the night's opening act, which I shall keep confidential forever (Shplink Blartini or something) asked me if I had any cocaine. DO I LOOK LIKE I HAVE ANY COCAINE?! (The correct answer is: MAYBE.) I am pretty sure that this show at the Showbox (how apropos!) coincides with the Warhols' new release, The Capitol Years 1995–2007, and I'm absolutely certain somehow that Courtney Taylor-Taylor still has an awesome penis. I have fantastic instincts about these things. Showbox at the Market, 8 pm, $20 adv/$22 DOS, 21+.

Saturday 12/4

Unabated licking!

Remember a few weeks ago when I (whoops!) lied and said that last month's Lick was gonna be the last Lick for a long, long time? And how deeply depressing that was? No? Well. Fantastic. Nor do I. Mathematix and Dewey Decimal do it for you, superqueer style... as USUAL. (Confidential to Lick: Thank you for not going away for a long, long time! I love you so!) Chop Suey, 9 pm, $5, 21+.

Monday 12/6


Support The Stranger

One must perhaps question the wisdom of partying one's jingle-belly, yuletide fannybutt off so very vigorously at this early juncture, with what? Three to five whole weeks of "Xmess Season" partying left to endure? Depending on if you're Southeastern European, of course. (Serbs, for example, follow some bizarro Xmess calendar that extends the mess an extra two or so weeks, the lucky Byzantine freaks.) But since questioning wisdom is something I never do, I encourage you to start stuffing your bulging Xmess stocking with dazzling misadventure now, now, NOW! with Just Another Wasted Christmas. Starring Lisa Dank, artStar, House of Charlatan, Skiddle, Nark, Jackie Hell, Ade, LA Kendall, Stella Rose, and the Lady Miss Adra Boo—the creamy crème of Seattle queer club célébrité rings your frosty season in with performances, numbers, readings, and frenzied, drunken queer cheer. Re-bar, 8:30 pm, free, 21+.