Thursday 12/9


In truth! There is much more than a mouthful of dizzying homocentric events this week to titillate the most dedicated and/or compulsive go-out-and-be-awesomely-GAY!-every-night-o'-the-weekers among us. But none rate higher on the Squeeeeeeeeeeal! Meter than the artist known as Big Freedia: the bouncing, gender-blending, capital S Sissy phenom from naughty New Orleans—city of music, mystery, music, voodoo, booze, high winds, music, and blurry lines. Big Freedia is consistently famouser and famouser for spreading her own sissified style of "bounce," an "urban music" birthed on the streets of that old Crescent City and super popular among her massive throngs of thoroughly sissified and fun-loving fans. Tonight, the combined efforts of Hard Times, Lick!, and Neumos bring Freedia to you, to bleed massive amounts of energy, color, and life into our rainy little burg. For one night only! DJs L.A. Kendall and Dewey Decimal open. Muchly recommended! Neumos, 8 pm, $12, 21+.

Saturday 12/11


Stay the wretched, grasping, homo-hating claw of Seattle's puritanical, tax-paid nannybitches! Thwart the bigoted, anti-nightlife forces of domination and control! It's a party! It's a PROTEST! It's, um... a "protarty"? (No. No. It's absolutely not a "protarty"—scratch that terrible word I just made up from your brain.) Anyhow: As you've surely already read, heard, dreamed, or otherwise become aware, the combined efforts of the ever-popular and evenhanded Seattle Police Department and the so-called liquor control board to fuss at, persecute, and pick on the poor Eagle for sometimes showing (OMGz!!!) sinful PENIS on their little video machines really SUCKS DONKEY ASS. And so! This NARK-flavored event is designed to give the big Fuck You to our own way-too-homo-focused nanny state. You are vigorously encouraged to "take it all off, bust out some giant fake dicks and tits, and get indecent." With DJs Barely Legal, Invisible Dick, Double Penetration, and a live performance by Seattle's poppiest pop star, Lisa Dank! Come! Choke the anti-penis pigs with as much frivolous impropriety as possible! THERE IS NO SHAME IN PENIS! The Eagle, 9 pm, $5, 21+.