Thursday 12/16


A spectacular agenda! Indeed! I wonder if I shall break down and weep at the fabulousness of it all. (Odds are, YES, bitchezzz! NO SHAME!) But please! Do not ASK me why BOTH of this week's most deeply recommended superfabulosohomo events happen at the Baltic Room, for the terrible chaos and vagaries of such things is so very not my department, thank you. (Well. Okay. Perhaps it is totes my department. Whatev. CHUT UP, CHARITA!) Tonight it all begins at, yes, the Baltic Room (which was originally called "Kid Mohair"—did you know that, wee children? DID YOU?) with the second installment of LIP SERVICE. It's called, um, LIP SERVICE 2. Naturally. And, oh! Let me count the ways: There shall be so-called "motor boating," and rumors of motor boating. There shall be the luminescent Strangercrombie-ish beauty and talents of Stella Rose (Seattle's signature "Female Drag Queen")! Live performances! Supahstah DJs! "Living art"! (Even typing the WORDS "living art" makes me horny!) Plus! All the usual pomp and sex and fuss and sex and glamour and sex and also sex one could stomach in an evening and still get into heaven when you die. Knock on wood. Baltic Room, 9 pm, $5 adv/ $7 DOS, 21+.

Saturday 12/18


Super veteran DJ of gayness Brian Gorr has been spinning in Seattle so long and hard, you'd think he'd have turned into Wonder Woman by now. (Ba-dum-CHEE! I'm here all week. Try the salmon.) Arena, EGO, the good old Timberline, Safari, Sugar... it brings me to the brink of homo-lunatic joy just thinking about it. This party is called Rewind X, featuring a decade's worth of Gorr's best mixes and dance-club favorites. And since we're on our way back to the Baltic Room (KID MOHAIR!), let's address the dreadful rumor that they were killing the Baltic Room dance floor. LIES! They made the damn thing bigger. Which makes perfect sense: lots of ROOM to MOVE your silly, gay, rumor-believing ass. Baltic Room, 10 pm, $10, 21+.