Mike Prevette
Saturday 12/31

Two thousand eleven! Sweet Jesus. (HYDRATE, people! HYDRATE!) So. DADT finally fell (yay?), we've all learned that It! Gets! Better! (really!), and just think: merely one skinny little year left until the scary Mayan calendar or whatever finally murders us all. (At last! Some sleep.) Tonight, for NYE, you'll want to cram as much in as you possibly can, naturally. (Always an excellent policy, in my book.) Therefore! I have created a THREE-PART agenda, which you may mix and match apropos of your character, humor, wallet weight, body-hair ratio, and/or personal habits. It begins!

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PART ONE: 6–7:30 pm–ish: THE BEGINNING

The Elite: King of the prefunking, shot-and-a-beering, don't-have-to-scream-over-the-music-yet-to-chat (ting?) dives. One of my favorites, because (a) it's the newest oldest Gay bar on Capitol Hill (long story), (b) the bartender is a flippin' SPAZ, and (3) I get to ignore all the guys I porked in college while they pretend not to flip out over how I never fucking age and how my dick mysteriously gets bigger and bigger. Drink specials! Champagne! And, I'm told, "secret special guest!" Sounds sketchy. Bring friends! No cover, 21+.

Bus Stop: A stumbling block away! A simpler space, a hotter (read: easier) crowd, a haven for fringe-theater drunks, and an equally perfect first-point, prefunk, NYE hole-in-the-wall! Cheap drinks, lovely (read: easy) people. No cover, 21+.

PART TWO: 7:30–10 PM–ISH: TIPSY/MESSY

Pony: A visual spectacle! A sexual temptation! A debauched escapade! There is simply no fucking New Year's without Pony. This is your place if your final destination is Fringe or Comeback. (Or HELL!) No cover, 21+.

Madison Pub: This is your spot if you intend to end up at the Cuff, or if the hotness of Pony makes you cry. (Or if you've stalked me. Long story.) No cover, 21+.

PART THREE: 10 PM–ISH UNTO ETERNITY: A DANGER TO YOURSELF AND OTHERS

Fringe: It's risen! The party that revolutionized parties, starring: L.A. Kendall! Jackie Hell! Lisa Dank! And hostessed by the deeply riveting Jinkx Monsoon! (P.S.! Inquire about the super-secret afterparty within!) The Eagle, $10, 21+.

Support The Stranger

Comeback! DJ Colby B flies in fresh from NYC just to spin this party. "That's how much I love it," she says. Plus Ade! Freddie King of Pants! The only place to find yourself for the "countdown"— midnight dance-floor hottie tongue-kissage guaranteed! Chop Suey, $10, 21+.

adrian@thestranger.com

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